


Fracturing her Morality

by Luvkyloreylo



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Anger Management, Angry Sex, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Armitage Hux is a Jerk, Attraction, Blackmail, Car Accidents, Chance Meetings, Character Death, Cheating, Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, Coma, Consent Issues, Cruelty, Crying, Dark Character, Declarations Of Love, Denial of Feelings, Depression, Desperation, Desperation Play, Dominant Kylo Ren, Dreams and Nightmares, Dubious Consent, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Extramarital Affairs, F/M, Fear, Fear of Death, Feelings Realization, Friends to Lovers, Gift Giving, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, Heavy Angst, Holding Hands, Hospitalization, Kylo Ren and Rey Are Not Related, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Kylo Ren is a Mess, Letters, Lies, Loneliness, Love Triangles, Love/Hate, Male-Female Friendship, Marriage, Moral Dilemmas, Non-Consensual Touching, Obsession, Oral Sex, Pictures, Possessive Behavior, Possessive Kylo Ren, Rey Needs A Hug, Rough Kissing, Rough Sex, Running Away, Secrets, Seduction, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Smut, Stalking, Touching, Unrequited Love, Violence, Violent Thoughts, Wedding Planning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2020-09-30 19:21:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 27
Words: 19,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20452262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luvkyloreylo/pseuds/Luvkyloreylo
Summary: ———***COMPLETE***———***fair warning- Finn isn’t too nice in this (I’ve explored several characters as villains. It can get rather ugly... humanity can be beautiful and ugly. Don’t read if that bothers you. I have other stories where Hux or Ben/Kylo get no happy ending either. Do not be cruel to fellow writers. We write for ourselves for a reason.) -Ben/Kylo have some redemption to achieve, not a happily ever after Reylo***Kylo stood still, he has never been so still in his entire life. Unnoticed for the moment. Through the window he sees her, motionless as the nurses tend to her. The surgeries saved her... now she remains in a coma with her devoted husband holding her hand. Well, almost husband. No one knew why she ran from the alter... frantically from the church full of attendees. No one saw him at the church... The screeching of tires, crunch of metal ... breaking glass was playing over, over, over in his head. This was his fault. He had to have her... had to have his revenge... he’s loved her since they were 12. She betrayed him... they all left him behind. But now, there she was... the only woman he’s ever loved. She could die... it didn’t feel like much of a victory.





	1. Stale

Finn’s mother viewed Rey as a background character for her son.

An accessory.

Rey nibbled her waffle, Finn kissed her cheek. “You have to meet mom and Jess at the shop to try on dresses... you’re already late.”

She shrugged.

”I’m getting up...” Rey stumbled into the bathroom to shower. 

She dreaded it. Like all the wedding plans, her voice was silent.

She was the orphan with no one, Finn’s adoption had placed him with a high profile family.

Money.

Charles and Phasma Pava, and their daughter Jessika treated him well...to his face were pleasant to his orphanage buddy, his fiancé. 

He was her best friend for so long, they dated through high school, it was expected. 

Marriage was a big show for these people. 

Rey hated it all.

She knew he loved her, but sex was bland. He’d been her first kiss... her first everything. 

She remembered holding a boy’s hand once in middle school, the boy kissing her cheek... but that didn’t really count she guessed. Finn had stepped in when anyone showed interest.

She liked her job, but she missed school. Finn had encouraged a break from college to prepare for the wedding and after. His mother kept stating he made plenty working with his father, she had priorities as his wife to learn.

Her place.

She had been alone so long other than Finn... she didn’t have it in her to see beyond him.

What he needed or wanted was important. 

He had already laid out a sundress on the bed when she got out. 

She sighed.

Was nothing about her...?

The dress shop was just as depressing as she predicted. 

Finn’s mother picking several dresses, Jessika did too. Kaydel joined them...

Kaydel was kind, but she wasn’t really Rey’s friend. She was Finn’s best friend’s wife. Dopheld had been around since Finn was adopted. From another well to do family. He was nice... he seemed very loving to Kaydel.

Rey didn’t hate socializing with the couple, at least they treated her like a human being.

As she exited the shop Rey felt less weighed down.

The wind was picking up, rain began to pelt the streets. She raced into the door closest to her to escape. The air was dusty and smelled like old books. She grinned, an old bookstore... perfect.

She curled up on a plush couch and snagged a novel on the table someone had left. She took a deep breath and let herself drift inside... become the main character. 

Reading was a favorite past time, she had boxes of books Finn made her store.

She didn’t notice the man looking at her intently.

She didn’t see recognition cross his features...he knew exactly who she was.

His mouth pursed, eyes narrowing.

His thoughts shifting to dark places, plots forming.

Rey had no idea he was about to interrupt her life. 

For things she’d never known...

Rage and sorrow she had no idea about...

She was 22, her future planned out for her... but the eyes piercing her skull had so much in store.


	2. Wishes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey rose when the storm simmered down. The desk clerk took her money for the book she’d been reading happily. As she turned away to leave she rammed into a bulk of a man. “ oh, I’m so sorry... I didn’t realize you were right behind me sir.” The man just grinned, she couldn’t believe how familiar he seemed.

_Rey cried into her pillow so many nights. _

_Every rejection stung... _

_Every foster home was worse..._

_Finn was already gone. Taken by a rich family. White as snow, who thought adopting a black child would look good._

_But he was happy, his letters said so. They still saw each other at school. _

_It was a compromise._

_He liked his new sister, even though she was a bit stuck up. _

_Rey felt tiny and insignificant when he brought her over to visit at the huge house._

_At school he eventually played football and basketball, he made more friends. Rey only had him and some chatting partners in classes. _

_One boy in particular, quiet like her... talked to her some. He had a mop of dark hair and odd features, he was more angry than anyone she’d ever met._

_He helped her with her math sometimes. His family was like the Pavas... wealthy and important. Government though._

_Rey didn’t see him much, but Finn hated him._

_She never knew why. _

_Both played sports, both knew everyone, both had gotten expensive cars when they got their lincense._

_Girls flocked. _

_Rey wasn’t dumb. Finn had girlfriends, but he kept her close. He was protective._

_One dance Rey dressed up in a fancy dress she found at goodwill. Did her hair. She thought Finn would like it. _

_His sister Jessika had made fun of her, Finn even laughed before disappearing to make out with an older girl named Paige._

_Rey cried and went to the drama room. _

_The boy had found her. He held her hand and let her cry. _

_He kissed her cheek._

_She thought for a moment he liked her. But at school he ignored her, glared._

_His friends were cruel._

_She never understood what she’d done._

_Boys made no sense..._

_Finn started putting his arm around her that week. They were official after that. She ignored rumors about other girls._

_She gave Finn her first kiss and let him do things to her when he wanted, they loved each other... eventually her virginity. Prom. When she wasn’t at work she was where he was._

_She was excited to go to college. _

_Pursue a vast future. _

_She had real hope for once. Her grades high. She got scholarships._

_Pride._

_Finn went to a different college, but they still lived together in the apartment his parents got him. When she got pregnant his parents insisted marriage was the only option._

_Even after her miscarriage they insisted she quit school for a while ...while the wedding planning continued. _

_Rey still felt hollow from the loss... but no one noticed._

_”_It’s quite alright Rey, you seemed deep in thought.” He replied.

Her shocked look amused him.

”do I ...?” She started to ask.

”we went to school together, middle school and high school. I used to help you with your math. You look mostly the same as then.” He added.

”oh... Ben?” She was surprised, but wow he was so different... grown wide with muscles...and beautiful. “So nice to run into you after so long. I was just hiding from the weather.”

”Yes, I noticed. I heard you were marrying Finn Pava, seems like you two have always been an item. Congratulations!” He admired her ring. Rubbing her knuckles, which made her squirm. “I actually go by Kylo Ren now, have for years. I wanted to find myself you could say.”

”that’s wonderful, I work at an office, input data. It’s kind of dull, but while I’m taking a break from college and dealing with this wedding, Finn’s mom thought it best if I just work a little.” Rey stated. Distracted by his eyes, his cologne. He looked nothing like the tall gangly kid she remembered. 

That her fiancé despised.

Two months from the wedding and she was small talking with his old rival.

Not good.

She swallowed.

”If you ever want to get a coffee or lunch ... even dinner, here’s my number.” He said as he snatched her cell to input it. She unlocked her screen for him in a daze. “ there, and I sent myself a text so I have yours. 

He smirked, and left her standing there.

Rey went to bed that night thinking about him.

It was so odd to run into him after so long.

And he’d been so friendly... didn’t he hate her? He’d been so cold back then after the dance... she shook the thoughts away.

Finn got home late, but woke her up to have sex. He smelled like alcohol. He’d probably went to the bar with Dopheld after work. 

He flipped her over and tugged her panties out of his way without really kissing or talking, more grunting. He liked it like this, from behind where he could go hard and fast, get himself off quick. Thankfully she got wet easily. Or he’d leave her sore. 

He fell asleep after snoring.

Rey cried a little. She was so lonely. 


	3. Wake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey sighed as the sun crept in, invading her morning. Finn was still snoring loudly. She wondered if she’d forever feel so alone... right next to him... in his arms... it didn’t seem to matter. Did most women feel so... unsatisfied in their relationship... shouldn’t she be happier when they were set to be married? Shouldn’t she feel treasured and loved? She really didn’t know the difference... he was the only man she had ever fucked. She wasn’t even sure if she’s ever had a single orgasm. She glanced at his snoozing form, glad he was still asleep. Relieved.

Rey prepared his coffee, his breakfast.

Ironed the shirt he had waiting for her.

Then took her shower, put on the dress he picked out. The shoes.

He probably wouldn’t thank her... he never did. She tidied up a little, but their apartment always looked immaculate. Finn hated dust... disorder. She worked, but everything had to be perfect at home. 

He wasn’t as pleasant if it ...

She shook the thought away, he loved her. He never hurt her on purpose.

She prepped the crock pot for the roast he requested for dinner. Seasoned perfectly. The potatoes and zucchini chopped and placed in the other crock pot. Tonight was dinner with the Mitakas and it had to go just right.

She’d pick up the wine on her way home.

They were giving Dopheld and Kaydel their gifts... for being best man and made of honor.

Rey had already wrapped them. The two items ordered two weeks ago by Finn. He’d even selected the wrapping paper and ribbon. Had Finnegan always been so particular?

Rey tried to recall...

Definately since the Pavas adopted him.

They both had so little at the orphanage. Just each other. But, they were supportive and patient... now every tiny flaw or error set Finn off. Always trying to impress someone. 

But never Rey...

She finished and left. Slightly glad he wasn’t seeing her off.

He might still find something she missed after... send her a text. Maybe not.

Rey stopped to get gas, grabbed a snack. She snuck a sweet here and there when she could. Finn didn’t allow sweets much at home... saying she could get fat.

But she’s always been tiny... the social workers always complained to her various foster families that she was too small... malnutritioned. 

It had made her periods funky... unpredictable.

It had a part in her losing her baby.

Finn had really made her feel horrible after... that she’d killed their child because she couldn’t even care for herself without instructions... 

She cried so much... out of sight of course. She could imagine the small fingers and toes, the sweet heartbeat...

He’d gone out while she was in the hospital and gotten drunk with his friends. He smelled like someone else’s perfume when he popped up to see her the next day. Barely speaking except to the doctor.

She had felt like a failure...

She mourned the baby she’d never meet.

She typed away at work. Going through the motions. It was all routine... every day the same. She missed college... meeting people... learning new things...

The women weren’t kind. 

Always snooty and judgemental. They talked down to her, treated her like dirt. But Rey always just faded back to her cubicle, let it go. She was nobody...

Her boss was an ass.

Mr. Trainer got along famously with her fiancé. Charles Pava knew him well, but the man still looked at her like a bug...

Rey sat there checking her email, her thoughts drifted to Ben. He’d been nice at the bookshop... when was the last time anyone had been so nice to her?

Rey couldn’t remember.

She glanced at her phone.

Finn wouldn’t like it... if they chatted... or met for well ...anything. He looked so different...

The boy she remembered looked more like Screech from Saved by the Bell. Tall and gangly, goofy glasses, frizzy poofy hair, awkward, no muscles...big ears that stuck out. 

But now... wow.

He was still so very tall... but also broad... wide with bulked up muscles and absent were the glasses...his ears were covered just perfectly with luscious looking waves of thick dark hair. His smile no longer filled by braces... he had perfect teeth. His voice baritone perfection.

Rey wondered if he was happy...

Who he ended up with...

He’d dated Paige after Finn had... and several others... but it was status related. Girls after his family’s name. Like the Pavas, the Organas were a big deal... Benjamin Organa-Solo, from the Naberrie and Skywalker lineages. Old money...

It was part of why Finn hated Ben... Charles and Phasma went toe to toe with Leia and Han regularly in their social circles. In business. In politics.

But there was more to their mutual dislike that Rey never knew of...

Finn wouldn’t tell her other than she was nothing and to stay away from them. That Ben would use her to humiliate him... 

No one wanted her but him, not to ever think differently. He’d protect her. 

She assumed his protection was why no one talked to her in school... unless throwing a crude comment her way.

oh well...

Soon the wedding would be done and this job done... maybe Finn would let her go back to college sooner.

Her phone buzzed.

Finn.

She was meeting the wedding article writer with Finn’s mother tomorrow. Oh joy...

She rolled her eyes.

The article was for their wedding annoucement. There’d be a photo spread and quotes from her, Finn, and his family. The writer was the best, it was a big deal for him to review their engagement. She had to say certain things and present a certain front. It was an honor. He was a picky writer, and could be apparently. Rey also had no clue who it was...

She didn’t even read the paper. The Endor Times was nationally published and respected, Rey couldn’t fathom why they cared about her wedding. There was to be a follow up article after the wedding itself with pictures from it.

She thought that was so crazy...

She replied with ‘of course’ and clocked out. 

Maybe she’d text Ben... later.

It was harmless.

Coffee wouldn’t kill anyone. Old acquaintances and all. Maybe...


	4. Shadow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben saw her leave work. He couldn’t help feeling slightly sorry for her... she held herself so lowly. Her body language presented her as timid, fragmented. He knew from her future mother-in-law’s words that they saw her as no one but a silent womb for their son. Her husband to be was no better. Rey was a shadow of a human life...

After their run in he’d searched.

She had no Facebook or other social media of her own. Every single one was...

‘Finnegan and Reyanne’ !

It was painfully obvious it was only Finn who ever posted on even their Instagram. Did the girl have no spine? It was pathetic. Was the money so worth it?! The status?! The name?!

Reyanne Pava... to be...

She had plenty to say in school! Her bullshit... Finn’s ...

They would pay...

She the was the key... the chink in his perfect life... the weakness.

Ben hated her for making him...

No... he didn’t care about her!

She was just a gold digging whore like the rest!

Paige told him about her ... the truth straight from Mr. perfect himself...

Saved him from her clutches.

Finn still made high school hell though. Fucking dick!

Luck really has swung his way. Throwing her in front of him like a lamb to the slaughter. She was a prime target.

Finnegan Pava has made her so invisible... ridiculous... all Kylo Ren needed to do was say a few kind words to make her weak knees wobble and cunt drip. To make her help him humiliate his bully... his...

Years of therapy couldn’t erase what Finn did to him... 

His parents knew little, his family didn’t bow... didn’t cry for mercy...

But oh would they...

Ben smirked, his meeting with her was tomorrow. The article would begin as planned. He doubted Finn knew about his professional name... his mother certainly didn’t recognize him. But Kylo did look so different from how Ben had... Rey would recognize him though at the meeting. He sneered watching her get into her fancy car. She looked funny in something so expensive.

Her ring, he’d noticed ...probably cost more than some people’s cars... it looked awkward on her hand.

He shook the thought away.

He had to remember, the sweet girl he’d helped in class... the girl he’d comforted had been an act...fake. 

A liar... 

He couldn’t feel sorry for her!

She’s gotten everything she wanted!

Ben growled, left for the paper.

He had a deadline to keep. The Ashley’s wedding announcement was mostly ready for publication, he just needed to scan over the photographs one more time. His boss was on his ass all morning... but he’d wanted to follow her. Just a little...

He was the best...

No one was as respected or as articulate, his photographs were considered art in motion. His articles poetry. Anyone who was anyone wanted his review...

Yes, tomorrow’s meeting would be intriguing.

Ben Organa-Solo would be fucked with no more...


	5. Meet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phasma hurried Rey into the restaurant, lecturing her about how to sit... what to say... to let her do most the talking. Just smile and look pretty if she could manage, not eat too much in front of the writer. He was the most sought after wedding reviewer. His pictures and articles envied. Rey sighed uncomfortably as she scanned her menu. Nothing even remotely looked like real food to her. Way overpriced non food... yuck. When Phasma stood, greeted their guest and raved about her lovely future daughter-in-law, Rey wanted to barf. When Rey looked up at him though, she was facing Kylo Ren... Ben. Rey was speechless.

“Kylo, we are so honored you took time to meet us today. The wedding is in less than two months, and I realize how you stay booked solid. We were so excited when we were notified that you’d made time for my family’s event!” Phasma preened.   
  


Rey hadn’t even blinked yet.

”the honor is mine Mrs.Pava, and I cannot wait to hear every detail of what you have planned.” He replied flirtation obvious.   
  
Rey was amazed. The entire meal they talked, completely ignoring her presence... not asking for any of her input. Why had she even been asked to come?!

”And Reyanne...” He prodded. “It is lovely to see you and Finnegan made it to the alter. A true example of love is hard to find these days, sweethearts for so long.”

Rey opened her mouth, only to be interrupted.   
  
“oh yes, they’ve dated since school. He adores her. They are an inspiration, overcoming being orphaned and finding each other. You should really push that in your article. Finn has become so accomplished and Rey supports him so much. She will make a great wife!” The woman encouraged. “I didn’t realize you knew them?”

”Not closely, in passing in our youth. But, yes... very inspiring.” His expression and intense gaze made Rey fidget.

Rey felt like he was staring, a lot, despite continuing to discuss the extravagant wedding planned.   
  


By dessert she was really twitching.   
  


Every time Finn’s mother was distracted Kylo was touching her hand casually, his foot kept nudging hers under the table.

Rey couldn’t explain why those slight touches bothered her. They didn’t mean anything, he was a flirty man... he was doing similar with Phasma.

But, when her phone buzzed, the text she glanced at made her almost choke.

Kylo only grinned mischievously, sipping his wine.

-It’s a shame we aren’t alone.- Kylo

Rey debated.

She bit her bottom lip, recrossed her legs.   
  


-It’s not appropriate to be alone with you, I’m sorry.-Rey

He chuckled.   
  


-Only if we’re doing something scandalous, such a dirty mind Reyanne... when did you develop such tendencies? -Kylo

Rey gasped.   
  


Phasma hadn’t noticed anything. Too busy complaining to their waiter.   
  


Rey excused herself.

She couldn’t understand what just happened. If Phasma had seen... it would have been a very bad thing. She wouldn’t hesitate to tattle to her son, and Finn would...

Rey washed her hands.

At the door outside, “well, I will leave you ladies for now. I have another meeting I must get to. No rest for the weary.” Kylo kissed Phasma’s cheek and then Rey’s before he got into his car. Motioning for his driver to leave.

Phasma left Rey to go shopping with Jessika, Rey returned to the office.

She stared for far too long at the data waiting to be entered. Still feeling a strange nervous coil in her belly after the odd behavior Kylo had presented.   
  


Had it meant anything? What was he doing?   
  


He was so confident now...

Why hadn’t he told her he’d be reviewing her wedding when they ran into each other?   
  


But she’d be lying outright if she said it wasn’t somewhat nice to feel anything. Be flirted with. Not that she would really do anything... ever.

-Your photo session is scheduled for Saturday at 2 p.m., be prompt and ready to give me all your focus. Your mother-in-law was very specific on what to shoot, with my added flare of course. Here’s the address...- Kylo

The second text was the address. Rey blinked once.

  
Twice.

Alone...? She swallowed. 

She wasn’t sure what this shoot would entail. There was supposed to be pictures of her in and out of the wedding dress, formal and casual. Finn in his tux and out. Then them as a couple casually for the announcement. Interviews, and comments from family... friends... 

Would he be professional or act...? Wierd?

Rey wondered if he had a staff to help him.

How was Finn going to react when he found out Kylo Ren was Ben Organa-Solo? Ben didn’t seem mad anymore...

But then again, she had no idea why he ever was.

Kylo smirked. He had his mind made up how he’d approach Rey’s shoot Saturday. When Finn arrived to do his, he would slap on a smile and be Kylo friendly professional. 

Finn couldn’t see it coming.

He needed to think it was all water under the bridge.

Rey had to slowly give in. She was ripe to break, he could tell. A few kind words and she’d be flat on her back easily. Finn knocked off his high fucking horse! 

Kylo sent Finn his appointment time.   
  



	6. A vision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey chewed her thumbnail, she stood at the front door. Ben... no Kylo, had been slightly inappropriate at the meeting with Phasma. But, maybe Rey mistook his actions. Maybe he was just as she thought, touchy... flirty these days. She inhaled a deep breath, tried to calm her nerves. Rey opened the door, forcing a smile.

“Be...Kylo?!” Rey called out.   
  


Glancing around the main room, she didn’t see much. It looked like a typical office lobby. Nothing special.   
  


He held a private office away from his employer for atmosphere when he did photos for his articles. His money situation must not really depend on his actual job, she figured.

He was... quite handsome these days.

He was so... sure of himself.

Rey slowly wandered through the next doorway.

First was a hall with several doors. There was one open, she thought she heard movement there. Inside she saw furniture and plants, various items she assumed could be used for backgrounds.   
  


No big bed to seduce her, she felt foolish for thinking there might be.   
  


She relaxed as she found him. He was setting up his camera, looking deep in thought. “Kylo?”

He turned, sporting a confident grin. “Oh good, you’re actually early! Something to be admired.”

Rey couldn’t fight the blush growing up her neck and expanding to her cheeks. She was certain she was a red tomato. “Ah, yeah...didn’t have anything else this morning or afternoon. Finn left earlier to do something with his father. So I came after picking up at home. You said be prompt. I know Finn will be here too.”

”Finnegan won’t be here quite yet, we will enjoy a bit of quality time first.” His expression as he pointed that out made her shift uncomfortably.   
  


He directed her to change into a robe. “You’re dress is laid out. As is the jewelry your mother-in-law would like you wearing. I need to arrange your hair and face for the look I desire first... then the dress.”

”you do those yourself?” Rey was shocked.   
  


He nodded, handing her a plush robe that was absolutely the softest thing she’d ever felt. “I am very picky. I know what I envision. Mrs. Pava gave her opinion, I have some freedom though so I intend to take full advantage.”

Rey came back, feeling quite vulnerable in just the robe and underthings.   
  


She felt like Kylo could see through the fluffy material.

Crazy...

But she just felt odd.

He guided her to sit, and ever so quickly, ran his fingers through her hair before twisting and pinning. Taming it into god knew what. Rey could not hide her shiver every time he grazed bare skin. He had moved the robe away from her shoulders a bit for better access.

He hummed as he worked. His cologne intoxicating.

The finished look was loose, but elegant. Babies breath decorating. Rey was pleasantly surprised. His touch had been gentle and efficient.  
  


The treatment he gave her face was similar. Light makeup was his plan it seemed, almost nonexistent. Only enough to bring out her natural beauty he stated. He kept telling her she really didn’t need it...that every freckle should show.

”now, I’m wanting to bring out your inner glow for some playful solitary photos. Lighting is key and texture. If you will slip into your gown and come out, I will assist with the fastenings.” He must have seen her apprehension, because he chuckled. “I am nothing if not professional Reyanne, there’s no one else here to help you.”

She was hesitant but...

The family heirlooms she wore felt false to her. She would have been much happier in her pearls.

As he fastened each button and clasp, he kept letting his fingertips go so excruciatingly slow... lingering. It was driving Rey mad. She was also afraid to say anything.

”first I’ll have you face the candlelight, turning your head back towards me... eyes down like you are imagining something wonderful. Your hands loose at your sides, natural. Keep your back straight.” Kylo adjusted her hair, and gripped her waist to fix her stance.

Rey felt tense. His hands were warm.

Finn rarely did these strange gentle touches... she wasn’t sure what to think. But, he was so nonchalant about it, it had to be all in her mind.

She listened.

He would move her, take his pictures, direct her into other positions and settings. She held a mock bouquet. Her bare feet on display.

He kept whispering new directions right in her ear, startling her. His breath so close... she was feeling more guilty as they went.

Finn would not approve...

Finn would accuse her...

”ok, close your eyes this time, I want you to lay back on the fake grass and flowers. Think of your dreams... of your happily ever after...” Kylo helped her get situated.   
  


Talking about love and desire, his words soothing. Rey felt her muscles relax again. Snapping photo after photo. “Imagine you are being held by the angels, floating high above all this...”  
  


She felt light, slightly sleepy.

Until his palm cupped her cheek and his lips grazed her mouth. 

Rey’s eyes shot open.

”Rey?! ...Mr.Ren?!” Echoed from the lobby area. Finn had arrived. 

Kylo shifted away from her.

Rey stared at him. Stood up gaping.

“Ah, Finnegan Pava. We just finished with her shoot, I’m ready for yours and then the couple shots. All per your mother’s wishes.” Kylo greeted.

Finn visibly raged inside, but replied with restraint. “Ben, long time no see. I’ll just get changed...”

”your tux is laid out for you.” Kylo seemed so pleased with himself.

Rey could not fathom why.

But, during Finn’s shoot and their joint photographs, Kylo was entirely different than he’d been when alone with her.   
  



	7. Guilt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey slumped as she rode home with Finn. He hadn’t said a word yet, still quietly stewing. He clearly didn’t realize Ben was Kylo Ren, that his mother requested his services. He couldn’t back out now, Ben would be doing the review. His articles were legendary, everyone wanted Kylo Ren to review their weddings. But, Finn had also not acknowledged Rey in the least since they changed into their regular clothes and left.

Rey couldn’t help wishing she’d taken a cab home as well.   
  


Ben had been nothing but cordial and friendly to Finn during their shoot. She kept waiting for one or both men to be snappy... hateful.

Instead, Ben had asked Finn about their upcoming wedding, the honeymoon. He commented on how lovely their engagement pictures would be. How lavish the wedding was going to be compared to others he’d reviewed. Rey saw Finn grimace each time Ben touched her though, silently demanding him far away... or perhaps for Ben to burst into flames.

Spontaneous combustion.   
  


There would have been a sight.   
  


Rey tried not to cringe when they finally got home, and Finn grabbed for her hand. Unfortunately he noticed.

”really Rey?! After you let that asshole paw all over you the whole shoot! You’re going to deny me!” Finn yelled. This time gripping her thigh hard, making her cry out. “So you can act like a whore in heat and can’t even hold my damn hand?!”

Rey stared in disbelief.

She had done nothing?!

What was wrong with him?!

”Finn, I didn’t... You surprised me is all just now, I’m sorry. And I wasn’t...” she stuttered. Hands shaking.   
  


He snarled at her. “You loved it! His hands on you! Didn’t you?! Innocent Reyanne is really just a fucking slut gagging for it from an old flame!”

She felt her heart drop. He was being cruel for no damn reason. “I didn’t mean ... to seem that way...”

”you’d better hope not! I expect my property to act like it belongs to me! No more alone time with him! If I’d known that’s who mother requested, I would have come early to supervise your shoot!” He let her go. “Go take a fucking bath! You smell like his fucking ass!”

She watched him exit the car, slam the door, and head straight in their home.

She swallowed nervously, trying to collect herself. Where he’d gripped her would more than likely bruise.   
  


She held back the waterfall of tears, until she was quietly shedding her clothes behind her bathroom door. She let the tub fill, watching the bubbles accumulate. She’d noticed him drinking on the couch as she passed. Maybe he’d be in a better mood by the time she...? Maybe he’d drink enough to pass out. 

Phasma text her praising the few pictures Kylo had sent as a taste, how artsy the shoot was. How Rey really looked the part for once...

What a stuck up cunt!

Rey was glad she was sequestered away right now. Away from Phasma... away from Finn’s unreasonably foul mood. Away from Ben... 

Why had he kissed her?!

She cried as she slipped beneath the floral utopia.

Here she was safe...

The bubbles expected nothing from her.   
  
  


She kept adding more hot water as the tub grew cold... her fingers and toes pruning... her tears dry.

She’d felt on edge, but hadn’t Ben’s attention also made her feel... beautiful? Soft prettiness? Finn rarely made her feel like that... was it really too late to walk away? She would be desolate, she would have no one. But, if she left all of this ...could she feel real happiness? Not hate herself?   
  


She knew the answer already, she was not strong enough. Did Ben view her as prey too? Like a piece of entertainment? Was there something sinister going on with him?

Her phone buzzed from the sink.   
  


She ignored it.   
  


It could only be something that would end this solitude, and she wasn’t ready to face anything or anyone. Exhausted, emotionally and physically beaten down from the events of the day.

She sunk deeper, leaving just her eyes above water. Holding her breath...


	8. Shattered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So still... too quiet...

_”how is she tonight?” Ben asks the young nurse._

_”stable, bless her she’s healing slowly.” She adjusts Rey’s IV, checks her monitors. “They say there’s finally no more swelling in her brain, but she still has surgeries ahead. Skin grafts need to be done on her whole back.”_

_This nurse held the same sympathetic face all of them did._

_”I just want her to wake up...” he said not necessarily to the nurse._

_Finn kept demanding to know why she was even outside... Ben knew the man had been interrogating everyone that had attended. Strangely, that quest excluded Ben.   
  
_

_He was relieved for that sliver of kindness from the universe._

_Ben wasn’t sure if he could lie..._

_It was his fault..._

_The sounds wouldn’t leave his mind._

_Screeching brakes..._

_Shattering glass..._

_Rey’s scream, the thudding of her body being hit... thrown... metal crunching... her bones..._

_The yells of passers by..._

_The blood... the fucking blood._

_Kylo Ren was truly a demon. He hated himself._

_Ben was in excruciating agony as the ambulance loaded her up, as the police arrived. As Finn and all the others cried fake tears... as Finn stepped up into the ambulance with her to ride to the hospital._

_Claiming love, but he didn’t love Rey. Ben was certain. His blood boiled at recalling the bruises he’d seen on Rey’s skin. When he found out it was a common occurrence..._

_But was he any better?_

_Finn hurt her constantly, in so many ways... but Ben punished an innocent girl for someone else’s sins.   
  
He used her..._

_Now all he prayed for was the opportunity for her to hear him apologizing, a 1,000 apologies. _

_For her to smack him..._

_For her to yell and curse at him..._

_To make him hurt too!_

_No one came this late at night, so no one was there to notice his visits. No one was there to run him off. The nurses saw his sunken eyes and grief, they let him stay. _   
  


_“Rey please wake up...” he begged, voice rasping. “ please wake up and hate me if you need to... please... I love you...” his words weak._

_He buried his face in his hands, choking on another round of sobs._


	9. Sweet escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey sneaks out before Finn in the morning, she’s skipping church with his family. After how he acted last night, and her drowning in self doubt. She needed a break. She scribbled a note saying she had errands to run for his wedding surprises, that she’d be back later. The surprise being, she was going to do a few things for herself for the first time in a while.

Rey drove to get her favorite coffee, it smelled divine.

She turned off her phone completely after texting Finn that she had forgotten to charge it, so it might die on her while she was out.

She scoured the bookstore she’d found the day she ran into Ben, discovering the latest edition to a series she loved.   
  
Her clothes were nothing fancy, old jean overalls Finn tried to throw away years ago... comfort. She’d successfully hidden them behind proper outfits in her closet. Her T-shirt was just a plain light purple number. She’d tied her hair up in a loose bun and forgone makeup.   
  


She was free...

well...free-ish.

As she leisurely trotted to her former favorite spot at the park, Rey actually smiled.

A real smile.

Not a facade for Finn... for his family... he could suck his own cock! So could they!

Rey needed to grow a pair... stand up for herself.

But, Ben’s behavior still made her wonder. Was he up to something? Surely not... he was just... well, perhaps he...

Fuck if she knew.

She huffed.

The grand ancient tree she spent so much time on as a child sprawled out right where she remembered. Interwoven roots and curling branches truly were miraculous. She used to feel so tiny beneath it, like she was an insect. She giggled.   
  


Rey climbed into one of the low hanging branches after kicking off her shoes.   
  


She opened her book, sipped her now perfectly cooled coffee.   
  


Bliss...

This was bliss.

Rey couldn’t be sure how long she was gone, but when she finished her book... she still didn’t feel like looking at Finn’s face.

That was a clear sign.

She didn’t want to marry him.

She didn’t like how he acted... did she even truly love him? Or did she just not think anyone else would want her?

She wasn’t worthless... she wasn’t a rug to walk all over!

”you look extremely intense right now? Did a squirrel piss you off?” Rey turned at the sound. Ben stood below her perch.

”no... I was trying to relax. Just thinking...” Rey replied, annoyance evident at his intrusion. “Why are you here Kylo?”

He offered a cocky smirk, “I was just reminiscing... it seems great minds think alike.” She scoffed when he threw a wink her way.   
  


He wasted no time in climbing up to sit across from her on her perch.   
  


“You... you’re intruding.” She declared, trying to keep her head up.   
  


Ben ignored her, “where is your beloved Finnegan... I assumed he was going to hover after he stormed out yesterday.”

Rey cocked her head, “he’s not quite beloved at the moment...” She tossed her book to the grass, swung her feet.   
  


“how fortunate for me!” His mischievous grin somewhat unbearable.   
  


Discombobulating.

He seemed unaffected.

”what is your routine today?” Ben inquired.

Rey noticed he was now kicking his feet as well, having kicked off his own shoes.   
She was tempted to simply leave, but something made his company not so revolting. He was not so horrible to look at...

He was still... interesting to gaze upon.   
  


“I was playing hooky, I have no routine today. I wanted my coffee, my book, this tree, the peace... and unfortunately now I have you.” She slung at him.

Ben shrugged, “do you now? ...have me that is?”

She huffed. “Bad choice of words.”

”no no, perfect choice Reyanne. So, as you have no appointments pending... I will keep you company.” As he spoke, he snuck closer... 

Rey distracted, didn’t notice.   
  


Rey leaned back against the trunk, the sun shining brightly over her face. Kissing her skin, warm.

Ben moved so quick that she didn’t see it coming...

His mouth slanted over hers, his fist in her hair... the other hand holding her in place against him. 

She moaned into his mouth.   
  


Ben got lost in exploring, in the excitement, he became ravenous.   
  


She responded.   
  


Each whine and groan music to his ears, it wasn’t revenge on his mind... definitely not Finnegan Pava.

Had she ever been so on fire?!

Never...

”Ky... Ben...” Rey pulled away. “Stop...”

Ben answered her merely with another onslaught of affection. Yanking her frame forward into his chest, he devoured her lips... her neck... her own hands. “I.. can not...”

”please...” Rey begged.


	10. Brakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey shoved him away, panting hard. “No! You... you have to stop!” Ben realized she was more than flushed from his affections, she appeared scared of him in that moment.

Ben froze.   
  


“Kylo, you know I’m engaged... you know even more than that.” She sighed, “what are you doing here? Why do you keep... doing things?! Why did you kiss me... Again?!”

The urgency of her tone shook him a little, but he had to remember, she wasn’t as innocent as she acted. She’d helped Finn humiliate him... she chose that prick over him. She was just as bad as the rest.

”I just noticed how you looked at me Reyanne, the signals you put off. You aren’t happy in your relationship, it’s potent how very unsatisfied you are.” His hands slid up her thighs. “It doesn’t have to change your situation... if you just enjoy yourself, I don’t have let your behavior slip to Finnegan or his parents... anyone.”

Rey gasped. “What?! Are you... are you trying to blackmail me into this? Whatever this is?”

”blackmail is such a nasty term, I was thinking more of a merger. We both find each other attractive, I will keep your secret... not tell him you let me touch you and kiss you... more I’m hoping. You need to be thoroughly loved Rey... you aren’t.”

His thumbs rubbed firmly along her thighs.   
  


Rey’s eyes darted around, she didn’t see anyone anywhere. “Why...?”

”why indeed. Perhaps I’ve always thought you were beautiful, and you’ve only grown more... delicious.” He leaned closer. “Perhaps you just really looked to me like you needed a friend who won’t judge... or perhaps you desperately need a proper fucking.”

His words waved over her senses. Her mind was exploding. “I don’t understand... you just want to...?”

”Aw come on Rey, one last fling to cure what ails you. You are so tense... wound like a top! You like me, you used to really like me. Have I become so hideous?” He prodded playfully.

She glanced at his hands. “I... don’t cheat Kylo, I do like you... we were friends. No, not hideous... I just, I have responsibilities to Finn.”

”Ah, but responsibilities doesn’t equate love, it doesn’t mean you aren’t thinking about my mouth on you right now.” He seductively licked his lips. “Where do you want my mouth ?”

Her silence only egged him on.

”do you want my mouth here?” He reached up and caressed her neck.

”or maybe here?” His thumb grazed her bottom lip, which was trembling to his delight.

”or... Reyanne, would you prefer my sinful mouth truly driving you mad... right... here?” He drew his other hand from her thigh to cup her clothed mound. 

She cried out from the instant pressure and surprise.  
  


“mmmmm... perhaps all of the above then?” He seemed so pleased with himself.

She knocked both his hands away. “You, come on so fucking strong! You are assuming a lot Kylo... I am not some prize to steal from Finn! Whatever goes on between him and I is private, not your business or problem. And I am not your plaything!”   
  


She scowled, “you are just the guy my future mother-in-law hired, you are definitely not Ben anymore... he wasn’t so selfish. He didn’t use people!”

”no, you are right, Ben didn’t...” Ben jumped down beside her. “Kylo however will give as good as he gets, make you feel something I doubt you have felt based on your reaction to such small touches and kisses. You have my number... text me anytime. The countdown is upon you...”

Rey turned on her heel and fled swiftly back to her car.   
  


He was wrong...

She wasn’t giving off signals..

She was a good girlfriend... would be a good wife, she just needed Finn to act better or she needed to walk away from the wedding. 

But, it would have nothing to do with Ben... Kylo Ren!

He treated her like he wanted sex. Finn was treating her like he didn’t trust her, Kylo would only add to that.

She needed to figure out her feelings, what she wanted. Really wanted...

She grew up with so little... she could go it alone again... she could survive without a man telling her what she wanted! She could...

She checked her phone once she was safely in her car.   
  


28 missed calls

30 missed text messeges.

Mostly from Finn, some from a Phasma and Jessika, a couple from Kylo.   
  


She needed to, had to quit looked at him and seeing Ben Solo. He was not Ben Solo. Kylo came on strong and was impulsive, dangerous. Finn was... well himself, familiar. Better the devil you know...

Right?

Rey mumbled her lip and drove away.

She left her radio off.

Finn was now at his parent’s house according to his last messege, it seemed like he didn’t believe her note about her phone being dead... or why call and text so many times. Intense much?! Jeeze...

She decided to go pick up her favorite meal to fix at home. He’d get back eventually and they could talk. They needed to talk, the wedding was running away from them. She needed reaffirming and charity about their future.


	11. Tosser

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Wake the fuck up you lying cunt!” Finn’s booming voice ripped through Rey’s head like a canon ball. “I know where you were Rey! I know where the hell you were!” He grabbed her arm dragging her from their bed to the floor, out into the hall. With wringing ears and blurry vision, she registered being now in the living room. Finn paced before her fuming, cursing, she wasn’t even listening at this point to his actual words... numb to it.

She wasn’t begging him this time.

She wasn’t crying.

She was just tired...

Tired.

  
Tired of his voice...

Tired of his insecurities...

Tired of his bruises...  
  


Tired of him being this stranger wearing the face she thought she loved, of a boy she thinks she probably lost a long time ago.   
  


“are you even listening to me ?! Of course you’re not...” he sighed.

Kneeling in front of her he lowered the volume. “He’s not really interested, it’s just a fuck you to me. He’s just being a prick, he has always been a prick since high school to me. Jealous asshole, creeper. Obsessed. I even thought he was gay... he freaked out on me pretty bad once. You weren’t around for that... thankfully.” Finn’s 180 shift caught her off guard. His hands that were previously gripping so tightly we’re now gently caressing her her arms and face. “Anything he says is a lie sweetheart... you know I love you. I have always been the only one here for you.”

Rey flinched when he enveloped her in an embrace. Kissing her neck.   
  


What the fuck?!

Her mind was going in a billion fucked up directions.

Ben had never been gay?

He had never hit on Finn?

What the hell was Finn talking about?

When had Ben freaked out in school?!

She had a feeling any answer to the contrary would invoke the wrath that woke her so instead she simply nodded in dazed agreement.

Silently pleading for him to let her go.

”You can’t see him again... I mean it.” Finn’s eyes held a danger there Rey didn’t recognize. “I’ll forgive this, lapse. But, after the wedding, I want to concentrate on trying again for a baby. No distractions. Prenup paperwork is ready. All standard, life insurance policies for us both. Mother took care of it all. Two children at least, first five years. Then you can do what you please, I plan to get snipped.” He smirked.

With a quick kiss to her forehead, Finn got up and left the living room. 

  
Rey goffed.

She heard him turn the shower on.

Really?!

After he ripped her from her bed?!

Wow...

_Ben had thought she was stunning._

_Shy, but radiant. _

_Soft, but powerful._

_ He had wanted to know her more. He tried to. Little conversations led to longer ones. She fascinated him. So sad, yet hopeful. _

_A light lived in her eyes that he prayed no one would put out._

_Finn had glared at him._

_Shoved him when he passed him in the halls. He hovered around Rey like she was his, though Ben didn’t get that impression. Friendship.  
_

_She was kind to everyone. Finn seemed like he tried to close her off more and more the older they got._

_The few sweet touches Ben had counted as precious became tainted..._

_They weren’t real._

_He had hated her for the lie._

_ The tease._

_Making him believe her._

_He had showed up only to find not her, but Finn and his friends ready to beat his ass. Ready to humiliate him, tell him what Rey really thought of him. All a ruse... a joke... a fucking game! She was laughing off somewhere! As he bled... as he choked... as he cried for her...   
  
_

_He watched her long after the incident. Long after he healed physically. He watched her at school, she was always with Finn... she must really have been part of the plan... she really had never cared. She acted like it was nothing..._

_Ben treated her the same. Like the bitch she was.   
  
_

_He never forgot._

_Finn would pay some day._

_She would pay some day._

_Ben pushed a lot of people away. He was just so fucking pissed at everything... everyone! And he couldn’t understand why he still thought about her..._

_Even after graduation._

_Even in college._

Kylo stood facing the mirror. Wiping the steam away, he grinned at himself. He had this. 

Finn would fuck up.

He’d made sure of it. Finn would be told where Rey ran off to... that she was seen out with him. Fuel for the fire... Finn was jealous as hell and insecure as fuck.   
  


Rey will show up.

Kylo was certain.

He let his towel drop and kicked it out of the way, walked casually across the room content in his nakedness.

He felt solid.

Sure of himself.

She ran. Of course she ran.

But...

He flipped through the pictures he’d taken from the other camera, the one she hadn’t seen. From that angle some shots were very suspect. He picked his favorite, tapped send.

A satisfied grin plastered on his smug face.


	12. Carriage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He knew it wasn’t healthy, his mother and father kept trying to coax him to stop. Ben paid the nurses well to keep him informed.

_”Finn she may not wake up you cold hearted bastard! You have shit to decide...” Jessika pokes her brother hard in the chest. Rey lay quiet behind them. Ben hid still in the shadows beyond the curtain separating the room._

_Finn kept Rey alone. The second bed remained empty even months later.   
  
_

_“I know Jess! Fuck... I know!” Finn growled back. “Mother keeps asking if the baby is mine... I, I fucked her a lot. But, he hovered a lot before the wedding. The whole period before Jess! I don’t think she would’ve, but he definitely tried... he poured on the charm. Rubbed it in my face.”_

_Jess smirked. “well, not like you didn’t deserve it... and more. You did fucked up shit to him. Hell, you cheated on Rey... roughed her up... talked to her like she was some bitch you picked up in a damn bar... not your wife. You always hurt her. Sorry, you did... she was just too dumb and cared about you to see it. If she did fuck him... good for her! He’s quite the hottie these days!”_

_Finn smacked her hard across the face. “shut the fuck up Jess! You are my family! Need I remind you what you did... what I’ve done for you over the years! I can’t prove it, but I know he knows something. No one has seen him since before the ceremony. No one... Someone paid for everything here... it wasn’t me! It wasn’t mother or father! She doesn’t have anyone...“ He snarled, turned. “ the paperwork was filed. Even if she doesn’t wake up I have legal standing. The life insurance, the money from my inheritance unlocks... the child clause. I have to claim it no matter what. I have to turn the machines off at some point. The doctors say she could be strong enough, but her heart took a beating supporting herself and the baby, she might not survive.”_

_Jessika stared at him hard. Holding her red cheek. “You sick ass! You don’t want her to...”_

_”no... not really. I have a real wife in mind. But, time will have to play out first... she understands. The money involved will be worth it. I triple checked every detail with my lawyers.” Finn hugged her. “Look, I’m sorry, I love you. Just keep your mouth shut. She just needs to stay stable until they can remove the baby safely. Even if she doesn’t die she will probably will stay catatonic, and I still have grounds to marry ...get the money. She will either die or go to an institution to be forgotten. It’s not like mother will care or anyone will notice. I just have to make sure he never knows about the baby if he is the father... come on, we have an early morning meeting tomorrow.”_

_Jessika reluctantly let her brother drag her away. She silently begged Rey for forgiveness._

_Ben’s teeth ground down as he heard them exit. What he’d just heard... it was foul. Disgusting. _

_Finnegan was so much worse than Rey ever knew... had she ever seen this man?_

_Had he ever shown this face?   
  
_

_So Rey had always served some role... some purpose for Finn...?_

_Had the boy... the man ...ever gave a damn for her?!_

_Ben glared at his own fisted palms, releasing. Seeing the bloody crescents. He remembered again why Rey was at Finn’s mercy in this hospital. Pot or kettle as they say...?_

_Could he throw stones in his own glass house?_

_But damn if he didn’t want to do something! Could he?! So... she was pregnant? He knew the nurses were hiding something from him, despite his funding. But this..._

_He sighed, slipping closer to her.  
_

_His fingers grazed her cheek. So pale. So hollow. Her words haunted him still... her pained eyes that day. Why had she even showed up for the ceremony? Why even go through with the sham?! He knew why... because he broke her. The tears sliding down his cheeks deserved no pity from anyone.   
  
_

_He didn’t have any right to touch her then ...less right now._

_But, she had no one to fight for her.   
  
_

_For her child.   
  
_

_His child?_

_How could Finn feel nothing after knowing this creature for so long? Feeling her skin, her heart, her smile, her...?_

_Ben shuddered._

_The doctors would encourage Finn to wait, it sounded like he needed to have the child too. So maybe..._

_Time... it gave Ben time._

_”I’m so sorry Reyanne...” Ben let his lips linger gently on her forehead as usual. Before leaving to go home. To his empty life... his empty existence... all his fault.   
  
_

_Remembering how coldly he’d seduced her, he let himself drown in shame. Her taste had been so freeing, but he hadn’t savored like he should’ve. So unbridled in his ridiculous vengeance. Blind._

_She tried to push him away..._

_Finn too..._

_Had she assumed the baby was possibly Finn’s? Agreed to marry him because of that?_

_Had she even considered it could be Ben’s?_

_He yanked at his own hair screaming at the darkness of his living room.  
_

_Chest heaving, he slid from his lavish sofa to the floor, no... she was probably trying to forget Kylo Ren ever came into her life. That Satan himself hadn’t possibly impregnated her..._

_Moment of weakness..._

_Finn must have taken full advantage, and talked her into believing he could change. Kylo had handed that opportunity to the idiot! Ben groaned._

_So fucking stupid..._

_He should have made love to her..._

_He should have told her..._

_He should have known she had no part in what Finn did... how he acted... _

_Ben shouldn’t have let Kylo take him over, Kylo fucked Rey!  
_

_Fucked with her! _

_Fucked her up!_

_Ben passed out on the floor. After emptying two bottles of his strongest poison... after pissing himself. _

_  
Pathetic. _

_Guilt ridden stupors were becoming too normal._

_ The morning would bring his mother to peel him from the ground and mutter soft words. _

_The morning would bring painful reality._


	13. Legalities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey had been so certain. She was packed. She hauled her few bags to the door. The ring left on the dining room table with a letter, the paperwork he’d shoved at her unsigned. She didn’t care that the pictures and article reviewing their upcoming wedding had been published... she didn’t care Charles and Phasma had paid ridiculous amounts of money for bullshit she never wanted anyway... she didn’t care how Finn felt about her leaving. She cringed thinking of the photos Kylo kept sending her of them that looked so suspicious from her shoot. She was tired of it! Kylo wasn’t the answer, but he was just another example of how she was nothing. She had no one. That no one wanted her for her, it all revolved around Finnegan Pava... his family... his needs! His enemies! She hated her job ! She wanted to go back to school! She wanted her own life! She was getting one! The little bit of money she stashed would help... the little jewelry she kept she could sell. But the ring was tainted, she couldn’t even look at it after how he’d spoken to her. She sat her cell phone on the table by the ring and letter. After she crushed it under her heel. That could not come either.

She stopped responding.

Kylo wasn’t surprised.

Rey would still succumb, proper motivation was needed. 

He grinned.

His photos were received so well, and the review introducing the future Mr. and Mrs. Pava was still gaining buzz. Charles and Phasma had been quite pleased. Though Kylo relished Finn’s simmering annoyance.   
  


Kylo loved scanning over her photos, she was so photogenic. Their moments caught by chance spoke volumes. Her fear... his lust... but something else...

So slight.

They looked good near each other. Their skin so close... eyes locked, such tension ready to uncoil. Mmmmmm... yes, he saw it. She was riled by him.   
  


He sipped his coffee.

His last few messeges came back saying failed. Curious. He fiddled with it again. Same result.   
  


“It’s handled mother. I’ve dealt with it.” Finn declared blankly. His hand running up the damp spine laying beside him. “She won’t cause an issue.”

He bent down to kiss along the same path.  
  


Rey was approved. So once he could access what he was owed, once the terms were met, he’d marry who he wanted and tell his parents to go to hell. “Mother, I’ll have to call you back. I am headed to lunch and I’m simply famished.”

Hanging up, he coaxed the woman over onto her back and widened her legs before dipping lower to enjoy his intended meal. He owed her a lot for waiting, for being just his mistress. Settling for scraps. But, his mother despised her, always had... that’s why Rey worked. Rey was pliable, easy. His mother still looked down at her, but it wasn’t hate.   
  


He needed access to his fuck you money, then it wouldn’t matter anymore. Maybe he could be a little nicer to Rey, but he wasn’t even attracted to her really. Not since he fell in love. It wasn’t allowed... but he drank her down now. Inhaled her moans. It was why he fucked Rey so roughly, why he was cruel, his sweet shit wasn’t hers. But she would have to give him children. It was a necessary evil. 

  
“that’s it my love, scream for me... god I need it. I have to close my eyes and picture you every time I force my drunk ass to fuck her... See your beautiful body... Jesus! Fuck!” He pulled up only to shove himself deep inside what he’d caused to be drenched. “I love you so fucking much Jess!” Finn howled as he pistoned into her until he spilled deep.


	14. Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jessika knew when her parents adopted Finnegan she was forgotten. He was the son they needed, wanted... she felt despised by her own mother. They barely acknowledged her half the time, so when her adopted brother started showing her affection and kindness, she lapped it up. She hung on his every word, she loved him. He loved her... When he started climbing into her bed at night just to chase away her bad dreams and hold her, she was safe and comforted. When he began kissing her, touching her, coaxing her into more... she was lost. From middle school on she was whatever he wanted or needed, and she dealt with being background within her own family. At least she had him. She understood when he had to date others... even when he picked Rey to marry and have children. He couldn’t access his inheritance if he married her first... they would raise his kids together after. She would be his wife after. But then... he was so horrible to Rey... always, did awful things to people constantly. Jessika was trapped. Guilt ate her alive, so she hid behind snark and fake superiority. When she really felt like a whore, like dirt. She was so fucking scared of him.

Rey stumbled around the hotel room.   
  


It wasn’t fancy, but her money needed to stretch. She couldn’t use a card. She would figure something out. She just needed to think.

Her mind wandered back to the paperwork he wanted her to sign. The wedding. His pushing. Why?

Where was the boy she’d known when they were so young? 

Two kids terrified by an unknown future?

No parents?

So cold...

So hungry...

The one who had protected her?

Her friend who became her lover and boyfriend?, who made her think he loved her? Wanted a family and a life? 

When did he become such an overbearing asshole? Rey sighed, wringing her hands. She let her frustration go.

She just needed sleep...

Finn wouldn’t think to seek her out in a place like this... well maybe he wouldn’t. She cringed. 

Jessika might would let her know the fallout if she called her tomorrow...

She wasn’t close to her but... there was something there, she was sure of it. Tension between Finn and Jess, Rey assumed it was because maybe Jess never approved of their relationship the way his parents did. Simply putting up with her presence. 

His parents...

The Pavas could make her life hell if they chose to. For leaving, for embarrassing Finn, for the wedding cost.

Rey peeked outside, there wasn’t much.   
  


A diner.

A gas station.

A bar.

She knew if she went far enough down the road she’d come to yet another town, maybe a bus station. A new Rey.

A Rey without Finnegan.

Sleep didn’t come easy, but it did come.

She almost wished she could see Finn’s face. His reaction to her not backing down for the first time since they were 4 years old hiding in that filthy alley.

She grinned.

Kylo’s too... 

No wedding... no wedding reviewer... his game, whatever it was, was over too.

As her eyes closed, Rey felt lighter.


	15. Explode

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No part of their living room or dining room survived his discovery. The carnage was truly epic, as he sat on the floor with bleeding palms. He was clutching the paperwork she’d left blank... the ring... her shattered phone. Finn was envisioning her untimely death. He was practically snarling. Rey had dared to leave him. He was going to choke the fucking life out of her!

Kylo didn’t think much of Rey’s no response at first. Her messeges coming back as failed over and over.   
  


But, after a few days, he was slightly agitated.

He had no revenge without fucking her... the whole point was to do so and throw it in Finnegan Pava’s god damn face! But, no Rey... no fuck to be had...

He attempted to contact Phasma, only to be redirected. Multiple times... Finn’s office only stated he was out attending to family matters. 

Was there trouble in paradise? 

There was no news outlet claiming the wedding was to be off or delayed... yet. Kylo smirked, he’d shaken them maybe? Or her? So what was happening?

He made a few phone calls.   
His family connections did come in handy.

Rey simply could not sleep.

Maybe...?

No...

Bad plan...

Fine!

Her inner arguments never boded well.

She yanked on a pair of light blue jeans and an old NIN T-shirt. Her hair squished into a ball.   
  


A drink might help.

Settle her tortured brain. Help her exhausted body rest before she climbed into that bus tomorrow, and rode out to freedom.

Alcohol wasn’t the best answer, but it was the cheapest and easiest at 11 at night in the middle of nowhere.

The bar was a lively one, live music blaring and more people than she expected. She nursed the first beer, but not the second... nor the fifth... just watching them dancing. It looked like fun.

Did she remember fun?

Did she dance?

Rey could hear the music like it was a siren song. Possession of a sort trying to expel all her dark shit and let her just float. 

Sway.

Drifting...

She found herself lighter.

Airy.

  
Less angry.

Less afraid.

Less alone.

Rey had herself, and for once that was actually enough.

Hands crept to her hips, and their warmth was ok. The form moving behind her following her motions to the beat. Rey’s eyes were so heavy, just content.   
  


Lips found her neck.

They danced several songs before Rey felt so overheated that she finally moved away, back toward the bar for water, and a breather.

The lighting wasn’t great, neither were her failing drunken eyes, but she squinted thinking her new friend looked a lot like Ben... well Kylo...

”you look like a guy I know... knew... he was nice ...but also an ass...” she muttered.   
  


He only chuckled. Snagging a beer from the bartender. “Was he now?”

“Pretty though... and confusing... and I think obsessed with my fiancé... well ex fiancé...” she rubbed her face. “Duck it’s hot in here. Fuck it’s hot in here...”

She began fanning herself with a bar menu.

He studied her a moment. “Rey... you my dear are a bit sloshed it seems, can’t say I’m disappointed by that turn of events however. I’m glad I found you.”

Her brain sobered. “Holy fuck...”

”indeed.” He grinned.

”how...? Kylo, how did you find me?! I left my phone?! I told no one! I used cash! Took a cab!” Rey trembled, anxiousness seeping.

”well, while I do have a job that pays quite beyond well, and I adore it... my family has more money than God! I can make a few phone calls and find anyone, anywhere, anytime.” Kylo declared without shame. “Finn doesn’t know where you are yet though...”

Rey winced at hearing the name.

Kylo caught the action. “I assume you wish to talk... let’s.” He gripped her arm, pulling her from the bar. “Where’s your room?”

Red flags flared to life across her mind.   
  


But, Rey was curious too.

Why was he here?!

What did he want?!


	16. Disadvantage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey was furious. And unfortunately aroused as he half dragged her to where she directed him. How the fuck had he found her?! Finn hadn’t?! Then she inhaled his cologne and felt drunk again...

“You ran away... not very nice.” He heckled. “Left me quite lonely, and your dear fiancé so very worried...”

She glared best she could manage at both of him in her field of vision. “I’m so fucking sure he is...”

Kylo smirked. 

  
She tried pushing him away. “You... you need to leave... I need to go...”

”I do not think that’s what you really want Reyanne, you’re scared.” Kylo snaked an arm around her waist, coaxing her to the bed. He laid her struggling form backwards, eyes locked on hers.   
  
His nose grazed against her neck so achingly slow, along her jaw, her breath ceased.

She shivered as his knees separated hers. Breath escaping.

”you remember me, I know you do...” he kissed along gently. “I thought you were the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. So kind and sweet. But...” he chuckled. “Horrible at math...” he caressed her throat with his thumb, her body statue still now. Petrified.

“I still recall how nervous I was when I kissed your cheek, when I held your hand... but you were so sad... you needed to be reminded how precious you were.” Kylo rolled his hips against her core making her gasp. “It seems... you need reminding yet again after these years apart...”

Rey groaned with a want she didn’t recognize.

Who was this wanton slut crying out at his touch in this sleazy hotel room?!

Her drunken haze made her question whether this was all in her head...

Rustling clothes... her own hands helping his...

Her whining lips parting as his fingers manipulated her drenched folds once he’d left them bare to him...

His growl as he finally gave her blissful release sinking into her while gripping her hair almost to the point of pain...

Thrust after thrust he drove deep, it was triumphant.

Angry. 

Her cries, her tears, her body gripping him so tight... like it belonged around him. She came screaming his name...

But, what startled his vengeful revelry, was she cried out not Kylo... but Ben.

Ben...

He wasn’t sure how that made him feel.   
  
He ignored the pang it created.   
  


Flipping her over, he prayed fucking her from behind would erase the guilt creeping into his mind. He’d been so sure of his purpose when he saw her at the bar... when he’d...

”that’s it Reyanne... you like this cock don’t you! So much better that his...” Kylo tried to sound callous and cold as he rammed her into the mattress. 

Her whispers cracking his walls a brick at a time.

But it didn’t change anything, “good girl... such a good girl... oh fuck!” Kylo spilled inside her with a final slam against her hips.

  
Jerking hard.

Kissing her shoulder.

He bit into her skin making sure to mark her, that was important.   
  


She already had red splotches up and down her neck and breasts, his hands left his grips on her hips obvious. His seed was dripping from her as she passed out.

He sighed.

Their activities obvious.   
  


He couldn’t afford regret.

He would leave an anonymous messenge for Finn of where Rey was tonight, he’d find her before she could leave for her bus tomorrow. 

He’d know she’d fucked someone else...

Kylo would imply it’d been him of course, infuriating the bastard.

Perfectly executed...

. 


	17. Waste

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jessika was crumbling... the weight was poisonous. The guilt. Her aimless hope, her love cured nothing in that cold man who claimed she was his soulmate. She couldn’t fathom the putrid things he spoke... about Rey, the baby, any of them. Were any of them even people to him?! She wiped her face again. If he saw... ? No! He couldn’t see... not again... she winced, her ribs still sore. How could their parents have been so oblivious to how devoid of genuine humanity Finnegan Pava was?! What was happening under their roof for years?! She reached beneath her frilly colored frocks, the small gun felt heavy in her shaking palm. She tucked it in her purse before she lost her nerve.

_Rey had to wake up._

_She had to forgive him. Both sides of him... Ben and Kylo..._

_She needed to be a mother to her child..._

_Ben promised himself, she would be. Even if it wasn’t with him. She would not be under Finn’s thumb! The child would be safe!   
  
_

_She didn’t need the machines anymore. The baby was healthy within her loving womb. Ben had filed the necessary paperwork to request a paternity test on the child. He couldn’t trust Finn not to use the child as a means to an end. He’d heard his words months before, kept close tabs. His efforts to catch Jessika Pava alone since then had not come to fruition. Finn guarded her like a hawk._

_She was a loose end to his scheming, another victim in Ben’s opinion. Ben needed her help. He would find a way to talk to her._

_Finn may have hoped Rey would simply fade away, but he’d been wrong.   
  
_

_Ben was seeking out taking over legal custody of her care. He knew the Pavas had been informed of his monetary assistance since she been brought in, even if it did take their team a while to prove it._

_Technically he had no right to, but no one but Rey could prove that. He was declaring Finn wasn’t her fiancé anymore when she’d left the church, she was leaving him. _

_Leaving him for Ben._

_That they were actually running off to elope when she’d been hit. She wasn’t... but no one needed to know that..._

_So he should decide her fate. The child she carried was his, the paperwork she’d signed with Finn null and void._

_Of course Finn was furious._

_The case would be fought in court._

_Meanwhile, no one could testify on Ben’s behalf. No one had proof of a relationship other than his photos and texts that could be somewhat explained. Finn simply stated Ben was a stalking obsessed liar after his to be wife, had always been after her. Who might have seduced her, but it didn’t change anything. She was his fiancé.   
  
_

_It was a mess._

_Despite the restraining order, Ben snuck to her side. Worried for her safety. She was 8 months along now, they could remove the baby if needed._

_ Finn fought against the paternity test saying it violated her rights while she was unconscious. That it could endanger her and her child._

_The media was having a field day._

_Jessika, Ben noticed was looking worse and worse. Thinner, paler, ...he wondered how Finn was acting out of the public scrutiny. Charles and Phasma stood behind him._

_Ben was thankful for his own, Leia and Han stood just as protectively, throwing as much money at the case as Ben required. _  
  


_If only Rey would just wake up and tell them all... _


	18. Morning after

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey rubbed her eyes, they weren’t cooperating. She knew regret was filling her mind. But not for the reasons she expected it to be. She wanted to be angry he’d shown up, but at the same time, she’d secretly willed him to. How truly fucked up was she that she had been somewhat relieved? She’d always liked Ben... her crush had never disappeared. It just receded because he’d become a dick at school for no apparent reason, then Finn had kind of taken over everything... Rey found the bed empty and groaned. Of course... of course he left. Why would he stay...? She reluctantly took a sluggish shower, dressed, threw her stuff in her bag. Fully prepared to hop in a taxi to ride to the bus station. She was not prepared for Finn’s scowling frame to be waiting for her on the bed. “Enjoy your night rolling around like a whore Rey?!”

She swallowed.   
  


Staring. Gripping her bag tightly, she could use it to hit him if need be. “I am not a god damn whore Finnegan Pava! Get out!”

She surprised herself how loud she managed to make the shaky words.

He smirked. His glare narrowed. “Oh yes you are... or your fucking lover wouldn’t have text me with pictures of you in bed, rubbing it in my face. How long Rey?! How long did you cheat?!”

She backed up as he stood.   
  


Finn stepped forward. “He just wanted a notch you know, just to say he had you ...like all the others, no different. Just like high school. He hasn’t changed. Still a pissy little shit! But, you didn’t have to make it so god damn easy! You didn’t have to spread your legs like a starving slut begging to be mounted when you’re engaged to be married!” He shoved her into the wall making her head hit the surface.

She grunted, dropping her bag. “Stop... It was... just last night...” She shook her head. “I left you. You are mean all the time... I don’t want to be married to you...”

”that’s not a choice you get to make Rey.” He grabbed her firmly. “You’re going to sign the papers, we’re getting married on schedule. I love you, you love me. That’s all that matters. I’m going to forgive this mishap, or you can just disappear right now...”

Rey was wide eyed.

Finn smiles. “Shhhhh.... it’s normal to get cold feet. But you won’t be suffering from them again.” His hand circled her neck tight. 

  
“please...” she choked out. Knowing she was in for it.

”of course dear.” Finn kissed her temple.

Two hours later they drove home in silence.

Finn rather pleased with himself. He’d been admittedly rougher than usual with her even after she agreed to sign all the paperwork. She cried throughout the sex, he’d completely ignored it.   
  
He’d only told Jessika Rey had tried to leave.   
  


It wouldn’t be prudent if mother or father had an inkling that his little fiancé was unhappy... might look suspicious when she popped out his children and died soon after.   
  


Finn couldn’t have that.

Still... Ben, or Kylo Ren as he went by now, needed a reminder of who was top dog. Finn needed the asshole gone for touching his things.

If Rey had managed to leave? 

And why had Kylo told him where she was? Just to piss him off?!

He’d fucked her... his ass better pray she hadn’t gotten pregnant by him!

Finn had been trying to already!   
  


  
Rey retreated to their bedroom. Finn almost laughed. He called his lawyer to come retrieve the paperwork. The faster the better.   
  


Once married, all would fall into place, but he was protected by multiple additional clauses... of course Rey was clueless. She’d been a bit too shaken to read a single page. He chuckled.

She would serve her purpose.   
  


Rey scrubbed herself raw, shaking in the bottom corner of her shower.

She fucking hated him.

How had she ever loved a man who could threaten her... use her... lie to her...

Finn was a fucking beast.

And Ben fed her to him!

Fed to him like a sacrifice on a bloody alter! Rey cringed and shook. Sobbed. Desperately wishing her tears would just stop coming. So many questions swirling through her mind.   
  


She begged the universe for Finn to stay downstairs. To just leave her alone the rest of the night...

Apparently she had a spa day with his mother and sister in the morning.


	19. Warm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First thing she sees is his shy smile, he’s always had such a hard time looking her in eye at school. It makes her tummy curl. Butterflies. But, his hand is warm... it comforts her. Yet, it feels all too familiar... like she’s done this before...

_She hears voices..._

_She’s sure of it._

_”do you hear that Ben?” Rey glances around, she wipes her cheeks._

_They sit in the empty drama theater._

_He squeezes her hand. “No... I just hear you. It’s just us now. You’re ok.”_

_She sees understanding there, softness. He leans slowly towards her and places a kiss to her cheek.   
  
_

_Her blush probably consumes her entire face... her neck... her chest... “oh!” She’s going to die of heatstroke... of embarrassment._

_”I’m sorry Rey...” he quickly stammers, “I just really thought you seemed sad and needed to know how nice you are, I like you a lot...you are so pretty... I hate you were sad.”_

_”Ben, I like you too.” She giggles. Tucking her hair behind her ear._

_Though something flickers in the back of her mind that this isn’t exactly how this memory went... that it went very differently..._

_Yet..._

_”you are nice too, I would have failed my math tests if you hadn’t kept helping me.” Rey leaned toward him this time pressing nervous lips to his.   
  
_

_Both young bodies are set aflame by hormone wildfire. _

_His fear forgotten in gangly teenage awkwardness, in this moment as he bravely let’s his tongue request entrance.   
  
_

_Rey lets him.  
_

_It’s awkward, it is. _

_  
But, she likes that it’s Ben, her first real kiss. Finn probably won’t like it, he’s been acting so weird around her other friends. Middle school shouldn’t be all stressful yet about relationships... they are so young. Maybe he’ll be her first boyfriend, he’s so sweet to her...  
  
_

_Rey blinks._

_The wiggly thing in her arms freaks her out. _

_What the...?!_

_Wasn’t she just...?!_

_Dark curls grace her fingers as she adjusts the silky blanket. “Oh shit?!”_

_Rey stares into deep and very alert hazel eyes, obsidian locks framing a little girl who very much resembles her... but also..._

_Ben?_

_She has a baby girl?   
  
_

_A baby girl with Ben Solo?_

_Rey feels a pounding in her head again... but now joined by a sharp stabbing pain in her chest.  
_

_She cries out.  
_

_The voices beyond sound frantic, but she can’t catch their words._

_The baby cries.  
_

_Wails._

_”it’s ok...” Rey coaxes._

_Empty promises since she’s struggling to grasp answers to how._

_She can’t see anyone else..._

_Just hear them._

_His voice rips into her peace like hot lava._

_All around circles darkness. _

_Finn!_

_His clawed grip is squeezing her breath from her burning lungs, her baby girl is gone! What has he done with her?!   
  
_

_Horns spiral down into her view as he hovers above, drooling from sharp vicious fangs. Already dripping with red blood.   
  
_

_She wept._

_  
Had this demon devoured her baby?!_

_Finn was truly the beast she thought he was... was he going to devour her next?   
It felt like acid as his tongue traced her skin._

_Her stomach was torn open... her legs broken..._

_Rey screamed. What was happening?! What this some nightmare?! Was she still at the hotel... in the shower at home...? ...the church? ...Ben? had Finn fucking killed her? ...was she in hell?!_

_Dream?  
_

_Was this a dream ?_

_Wake up Rey!_

_Wake up!_

_Wake up!_

_Wake ...the ...fuck ...up !_


	20. Spa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jessika noticed Rey flinch when Finn kissed her cheek goodbye as he dropped her off at the spa. Their mother too busy yapping about centerpieces. But Jessika saw it. He nodded in her direction as he left. She slipped into her facade of distant aloofness and fiddled with her cellphone.

“Alright, now Rey... our itinerary is tight for the day, but I think you will thoroughly enjoy this!” Phasma stayed as they waltzed into her favorite spa.

Rey had never been poked and prodded so much in her life!

Let alone been so naked in front of so many people.

She was very self conscious of the marks Finn had left.

”really dear, do you ever not run into everything?!” Phasma teased. Assuming Rey had been clumsy again, as Finn typically labeled her.   
  


“oh mother, leave her alone... she can’t help her limited breeding!” Jessika offered.

Rey seethed.

Jessika knew it was a tad too far, but appearances had to be met.

Hours of facials, wraps, dips, waxed, massages, hydro therapy, mania, pedis, and more that had strange titles, Rey felt oddly relaxed.   
She didn’t want to go home. She knew she was however stuck.

She listened to Phasma and Jessika ramble on about the guests coming... about her dress...shoes. 

She sighed.

Kylo did this.   
  


She couldn’t understand what happened to Ben... how did Ben become Kylo? Why did he want to hurt her? What had Finn done to him that Kylo was so convinced she done as well?!

It was making her feel so twisted up inside.

And fucking pissed! Where was a machete when she needed one?!

  
  


_Jessika knelt beside her hospital bed._

_”you don’t deserve any of this... I don’t know what to do, but I think Ben does. I am going to tell him everything Rey... I promise.” She hoped the girl she’d once thought a rival for Finn’s love could hear her. “He’s trying already Rey, he just needs the rest of the pieces...”_

_Jessika left, if she made him wait too long, Finn would wonder.   
_

_She used the hospital phone to leave Ben a messege to meet her at the library the next afternoon if he wanted to know where all Finn’s skeletons were buried and to keep Rey... the baby too... out of his clutches.  
_

_Finn monitored her phone.  
_

_That the paternity test was falsified and she had proof. _

_Ben needed to protect his baby girl, Rey’s baby girl. Since Rey couldn’t..._

_Jessika was done standing by. Finn was going to hurt them both... it was just a matter of time once he got access to his money if Rey didn’t wake up._


	21. Strange times

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo didn’t want to name these emotions festering... they weren’t supposed to be there. He’d gotten a bit of revenge on them both. Finnegan had raged, certainly. Ever cool as a cucumber in public. But, he knew Ben Solo had his fiancé... that he’d taken something of his! Phasma kept the wedding train on schedule. Kylo attended everything his job entailed him to observe. This was the week of the bachelor/ bachelorette parties, the rehearsal dinner... the wedding. Why was guilt and regret rearing it’s hideous mug at him?! He should not feel bad for her?! She... well, she... well ...fuck... he slouched into the booth.

Jessika took Rey out for her bachelorette night. Per Finn it was not much, just a few office gals... buddies’s wives... they went to one bar.   
  
Rey seemed deep in thought, nursing her drinks. Jessika never actually even saw her take a sip.

Meanwhile, everyone else got trashed and sang karaoke. Some danced on the counter of the bar. 

“what’s with you Rey? You’re supposed to be having a bitching good time?” Jessika prodded.

Rey shrugged. “I haven’t felt great this last week or so, I kind of... well I...” hesitating. “I took a test Jess. “I’m... pregnant I think. After the miscarriage before, I’m scared of it...”

Jess felt her own heart stop. “Shit...” 

“Finn, might be glad. It’s what he wants for his inheritance to be unlocked, but I’m... scared.” Rey confessed.

Jessika knew secretly why.

Rey had slept with Kylo... Finn could be the father, but so could Kylo Ren.

Jessika vividly recalled how he’d described punishing Rey for running off. It’d been fucking brutal. 

Jessika shivered. 

Finn’s sadistic ass even thought his descriptions turned Jess on, telling her all about it as he fucked her. She hadn’t looked at him the same...

He was cruel.

She wasn’t sure who would be worse to be the damn father... the sadistic fiancé secretly fucking his adopted sister or the asshole who revenge seduced her. Either way, Jessika felt sympathy she couldn’t show.

”well, order water. I’ll try cover for you tonight. Make a doctors appointment tomorrow.” Jessika suggested.

Rey nodded.   
  


Finn woke up in bed with several of the strippers him and his friends brought back to the suite. He’d made the most of his night.

Jessika kept him informed on Rey’s evening...dull.

Not nearly as eventful.

He smirked. 

Good.

Rey would be going to the doctor to confirm a possible pregnancy, could be problematic if not his... but the clauses he’d added to the paperwork would protect him in any case. 

He would get his damn money. 

  
His adulterous cunt would be fucking dead... her and her spawn. He had addendums in place. Only Jessika and those he required knew.  
  
He almost growled at the prospect, he would be playing cordial with Kylo Ren at his rehearsal dinner. It couldn’t be avoided... fucking appearances. He could deal with him after... perhaps he could have a little accident. Didn’t his father own a private plane he tended to barrow?

He spread a wicked grin. Knocked back a glass of scotch.   
  
Turning back to the bed, well waste not want not!

Finn nudged back between a big breasted strippers thighs to get one last shot in before heading to the office. Pleased when she welcomed the gesture, joined by other hands.

They must want a large tip!

He chuckled.

_Kylo sobbed at her side.   
_

_He did it every night._

_He didn’t care what the test said!_

_”I’m so sorry Reyanne... I’m so sorry... I love you... I love you...” Ben let his tears wash against her palm, praying for some miracle to wake her. _

_Such a god damn fool... prideful fucking ridiculous fool._

_Finn was having her moved._

_A private facility. Ben would not be able to bribe his way in anymore._

_The judge had ruled in Finn’s favor after the results of the paternity test were revealed. Rey was given to his care.   
  
_

_Ben knew it was bullshit, but he had no fucking proof!_

_”please wake up... please precious girl wake up... not for me... for her...” he could barely form the words. His forehead now on her stomach. _

_Anything could happen somewhere private..._

_”Mr.Ren, He’s on his way up, you should go... I don’t want you to get arrested.” The kind nurse warned._

_”Thankyou Kathy... if you hear anything about where the facility is, please let me know. Name your price, I’ll make it happen.” Ben stated. His desperate plea._

_”I will... you obviously care for her and her baby, that... man does not.” She sighed. “None of us trust him. None of us had seen him touch her... or shed a single tear...we all feel like she senses you here.”_

_Ben nodded, kissed Rey’s hair. Squeezed her hand, and left the room. It was like walking away from heaven toward a firing squad.   
_

_He wanted death._

_It hurt too much._

_But, he would figure it out._

_ Han was looking into Finnegan Pava’s financials, Ben’s father had friends in low places who felt bad for the boy. Leia did the same among their social circles, though the Pavas just didn’t seem to have any dirty secrets to dig up.They disapproved of his actions prior...but his sincerity was potent. _

_They saw his pain.   
_

_They knew he’d give his soul right now if it helped her, even it it meant never being near her again..._

_Ben watched them come.   
_

_Watched them take her away._

_He slid to the floor in an hallway._

_He let himself break._

_Rey had never hurt anyone..._

_Yet she had been hurt by everyone..._


	22. Positively

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey saw the gleam in her fiancé’s eyes as the doctor confirmed that she was indeed pregnant. He handed Finn a prescription for her new prenatal vitamins and a suggested dietary regimen. She’d lost weight and her iron was low. Finn played concerned to the letter, the doctor found him charming. Rey found him certifiable. She lay there envisioning separating each of the hands touching her from his wrists... then each of his fingers... But, the unknown source of her circumstances left her with little choice, she had to trudge forward at least for now. It wasn’t as if Ben was here... Kylo Ren was all there was of him, Kylo was a selfish prick. Finn was literally the fucking devil... not great options. But, if she went through with the wedding she could disappear while they were on their honeymoon? Or ...? Rey had theories...

_“Jessika, Thankyou for telling me the truth... I can’t believe...” Ben couldn’t contain his grief._

_She smacked his cheek. “look! You can’t fall apart Ben Solo! She’s helpless... so is your daughter! So am I if he finds out I came to you! The doctor who falsified the paternity test is fucking dead... I’m the only one besides him that knows. So, you have to get her out somehow... get me away somehow... so he doesn’t fucking kill us!” Jessika sobbed angrily. Shaking._

_He nodded. Swiped at his face. “I’m pathetic, I basically handed her over to him... no one knew what he was doing to you Jess, I know Rey didn’t. She seemed too ...she was drowning herself in his abuse and mental shit. I hate that I hurt her.”_

_”well, enough of the pity party. I can get you in there. But, we have to wait for the opening. He altered his plans... He has an arrangement with the main staff doctor.” She turned away, “he’s basically giving her over to this damn guy. He’s letting time pass a bit, so it looks better, but he has all the t’s crossed... the paperwork is finalized. The baby isn’t his. He can’t traipse around with her. She’s obviously not going to look mixed... he expects me to hide her appearance until he arranges an adoption..”_

_”adoption?” Ben furrowed._

_”yeah, he’s getting insurance money for Rey’s quote ‘Death’ at the facility when the doctor signs her death certificate after complications arise naturally...” Jessika scowled. “Then, the doctor gets to keep Rey for research purposes off the books. It’s sick. So Finn has the inheritance for the wedding arrangements even though they didn’t actually make it through the ceremony because of the accident, a clause, smart of him... he will get life insurance after her death is announced, he will receive the other part of the inheritance with the birth, even if the child doesn’t survive the year, another clause. That is where the adoption funds come in. He’s arranged a back door adoption for a hefty sum with no questions. And Rey’s daughter mysteriously passes of SIDS after only a few months home. I’m supposed to be witness, concerned auntie helping out. He will use that doctor for that too. Finn even has plans for our parents Ben, an accident. He stands to inherit everything if they die together. But, he had to unlock these first, it’s all so damn fucked! He’s not human anymore I swear...” she sobbed. “I don’t know what’s even being done to her in that place now... I don’t trust a doctor who’d go along with this madness...”_

_Ben reached out and held her.   
  
_

_“she’s going to hate you... but you need to save her. That little girl deserves her momma. I want to be free too... you need to find a way to atone. Finn... he just needs to die Ben.” Jessika let him hold her until no more tears came.   
  
_

_She told him she could steal one of the security badges to get in. That she could slip Finn something. But Ben would need to be ready on the spot to go.   
  
_

_Finn was acting like the baby was being removed any time. She would keep Ben posted. _

_She told him about the gun.  
_

_He showed her his knife...apparently they both had spilling blood haunting their dreams._


	23. Growing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Could it hear her already... her fear? Her doubts? She didn’t blame it... how could she? This tiny bit of creation was innocent? And, whoever’s seed sprawled out within her... she already loved the child. It was hers... not theirs! She would protect it! Boy or girl, it was precious! Rey made silent promises as she stroked her flat belly. She could hear the giggling banshees, the the faceless social circles around these tables yapping. Their conversations empty, meaningless prattle. Finnegan Pava in his element. So pleased. The rehearsal dinner was massive, just as the wedding itself was to be. Rey at his side an ornament as he made her to be. Jessika at her other side. Rey nodded and nibbled. Perfect bride to be.

Kylo observed her.   
  


She seemed so solid at Finn’s side. It wasn’t what he expected after their... encounter. Why had it not shaken her? Shaken her relationship with Finn? They seemed closer? It made no sense? Something was not right? She was perhaps too calm? Too solid?

Kylo grinned, drank, made small talk.   
Charles and Phasma Pava were gracious hosts, their society friends and business associates just as grasping ...covetous of each other.   
  


All vicious, all smelling blood in the water.

He wondered what was really going on. Finn had been enraged at the motel! He’d been sure of it?! Rey had been crushed?! How could this farce still be continuing?!  
  


Kylo noticed small things. That she wasn’t socializing as much as her fiancé, or eating as much. The rehearsal itself at the church went smoothly. The vows so ridiculously bland. He wanted to gag.   
  


He took his photographs at each event as was his job. That night he would type out the damn verbal garbage his professional life demanded. But it annoyed the piss out of him.   
  
  


He watched their little show.

He watched the others exit.

”Still here Ren?” He immediately recognized the cocky voice interrupting his route to leave.   
  


“Pava...” Kylo replied. He turned.

Finn smirked. “Enjoyed your evening? It looked like you did, well, somewhat. I suppose I should thank you, if you hadn’t thrown my wife back to me I might have lost her. She was ready to disappear, with my child in her belly no less. So, you can see why I had to forgive her and make it work after your lil fuckery. I do love the cunt after all. Your bullshit didn’t work the way you’d hoped. It worked for my benefit.” It was easy to lie...

Finn punched Kylo in the jaw before he could react. Kylo toppled to the ground beside his vehicle, mouth bleeding. “Been waiting for the right moment...?”

”you did fuck my fiancé Ren? Threw it in my face? Hoping to blow my plans to shit... I can’t have that. You have always been an issue...” Finn stated smuggly. His heel finding Kylo’s throat, pressing down. “I could snap your neck... they would probably dismiss it as a mugging gone bad.”

Kylo choked as the heel pressed harder.

Finn chuckled, he knew the man below him had no idea he was more than likely the real father of Rey’s baby. ”what?! No congratulations?! No blessings?!”

Finn heard someone coming.   
  


He knew he’d have to leave Kylo or be seen. “Looks like it’s your lucky day Ren... do your job, collect your fucking check, and fuck off after tomorrow. Reyanne isn’t your problem...”

_Rey kissed tiny curls, her heart swollen with such joy as she gazed into her daughter’s eyes. This was joy.   
_

_She felt no anger... just pure gratitude to hold her child._

_”I’m here sweet one, mommy’s here.” Rey whispered.   
  
_

_The voices were long gone, but the light surrounding her and her child had not. It had kept the demon at bay... Rey didn’t fear the demon hiding in the recesses of her mind anymore... she trusted. _  
  


_She smiled to the coming horizon._

_She would wake to the new day._

_She would not bow out..._


	24. Bruised ego

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo wouldn’t stay at the hospital overnight. Confused and livid. Finn’s words digging a canyon in his mind.

Rey adjusted her dress, her earrings.

Thinking she didn’t look so awful like this... fraud though she was. Still not bad. She looked angelic actually. She sighed at her reflection.

Why did she keep staring at her reflection lately like it would talk back at her?

Argue?

Direct?

Scream?

Rey knew the church was full of well wishers, social obligated attendees, more... the Pavas had a far reach.

Wasn’t that why she was here after all?

Finn left her little choice?

Jessika, Phasma, and the others had left her for a few moments. She was almost unsure of what to do with the tiny freedom allotted.

Someone would be collecting her to go down the isle soon.

Mrs. Pava ...she was going to be Mrs. Reyanne Pava.   
  


Would he at least be kind to the baby she carried?

Love it?

Was he even capable of loving anything?

”you look rather delicious Reyanne?” Kylo interrupted her peace.

”what do you want...?” She glared over her shoulder, trying to maintain a sense of strength when every fiber wanted to crumble seeing him.   
  


He had hunted her down.

He had simply fucked her... left her...

He had told Finn where to find her...

That had been the worst betrayal of all really, handing her over like that. Oh had she paid the price for it... then the universe saw fit to punish her further by giving Finn the child he needed through her.   
  


“can I not wish you well...? It is your wedding day after all? The happiest fucking day of your life! Is it not?” He mocked her, smirking. His glower inches from her own now.   
  
She scowled up at him. “you can’t intimidate me anymore Ben Solo! Or Kylo Ren! Or whoever you need to call yourself to feel important these days.. to make me feel small!” Her finger poking his chest hard. “What did I ever do to you ...you asshole?!”

Her rage took him by surprise.

”you did this before in school too! Were so nice... then so mean to me! It made no sense then...” she shook her head, turned away. “I felt like you were someone different that night we... well, it doesn’t matter now... I was stupid to believe anything you said. Your actions show the truth, you’re a prick!”

He cocked his head. ”after what you helped him do to me...?! How are you so shocked?!”

”helped him...? Who...?” She glanced around. Puzzled. “Finn? What did he do? In school or now? What happened to your face Ben?!”

He scoffed. “Both apply dear... then and now I suppose. He’s a dick still. You lured me then... I paid for my blind faith that you cared for me. Now, well, he jumped me when he had me alone after the rehearsal dinner. A pleasant thankyou apparently for fucking his fiancé.” Ben chuckled.

Rey pursed her lips. 

Her eyes teared up. “He... you... oh shit. It was you he hurt. He showed up late bloody and I asked, back in school... He never told me. He and his friends hurt you back then? You thought I knew?! You thought I was part of it?!” She cried out, “No... I never did! I would have never spoken to him again! And then he kept everyone so far away... fucking hell... damn it!”

”Paige told me you thought it was hilarious, that you watched them beat me... you joked about it with him after... He’s been an ass ever since. I was so sure you... because of how you...” Ben ran a shaking palm through his hair.   
  


Trying to recall interactions.   
  


As he re-examined, maybe she didn’t seem as involved as Finn did... 

“Rey...” he started.

”no! You... you left me there! Left me for him to find! Do you even realize what he did when he found me?!” She screamed at him beating his chest with her fists as he tried to embrace her.

Ben edged her backward until she hit the closest wall.

Her makeup was ruined.   
  


He was trying to contain her flailing.

When his mouth slotted over hers and plundered, for only a moment, she responded back.

Then her knee nailed him between the legs, she took advantage as he fell to the ground cursing to make a quick escape.

Her heels abandoned, her fists gripping her gown, she ran as fast as her feet would carry her.   
  


She could hear him shouting her name.   
  


She avoided anyone that would keep her from leaving the building.

Rey couldn’t stay.

Fuck Ben.

Fuck Finn.

Fuck men and their stupid illogical bullshit!

She was tired of being a pawn.

Rey grinned, wiping her cheeks at the exit. Freedom. Sunshine.   
  


As she ran she pictured a future that had to be better than this. Her child would know love. Her child would not know these fucking men!

She knew Finn would be livid when her exit was noticed... she couldn’t be bothered to care now. His bullying of Ben... her... she was certain many others, was ridiculous. His greed could keep him warm at night... 

She didn’t hear the screeching tires...

She didn’t see the car...  
  


As her body throbbed on the pavement... as the blood seeped into her closing eyes... she could vaguely hear sirens.   
  



	25. Can’t give in

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey had to wake up... Wake up ! Wake up! Wake up!

Her eyes felt like lead, so heavy from disuse... same with her arms and legs. But, the pain in her abdomen was instantly reminding her she was indeed awake.

”oh god...” she huffed.

Glancing around the darkened room, she saw the sparsely decorated environment. Hospital? Clinic maybe?

The quiet deafening.

Struggling to sit up a little, Rey tried to reach for her last memory... Kylo, Finn, the wedding, the baby, ...the accident!

She ran away!

She was hit!

Cradling her stomach, she sighed knowing the baby was ok.   
  


Did they all know?!

God... she’d spent her pregnancy unconscious?!

Anxiety overwhelmed her as another pain pierced. Contractions?!

Oh definitely...

Her breathing eractic, she wondered how much of the fuzzy memories she had of dreams and nightmares were real. Finn may not be an actual demon, but he was pure fucking evil!

And Kylo... Ben... he was bad too. Tears crested her lashes. There would be nurses? A doctor near by? But, we’re they there to help her?

Her trust was nonexistent...  
  


She’d heard voices as she slept... what was it they said?!

No one would hurt her child.   
  


She had to figure this out.

”arg....!” It hurt so bad. Her brain was still so foggy.   
  


“oh good! We won’t have to induce tonight! Rey, I’ll fetch the nurse. Let’s get that baby out of you, shall we?!” The man seemed entirely too thrilled for Rey’s liking.

Finn grinned. The text was good news. He grabbed his keys and flew to the facility he’d thrown Rey in.


	26. Congrats and farewell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey recognized the doctor’s voice... oh no! He was helping Finn! He was going to hurt them! This was not the hospital... this was somewhere else. She found herself warily eyeing the nurse that came to assist the doctor. Flinching as some unknown liquid was inserted into her spine. “Don’t worry dear it’s just for pain, and to speed this up a bit... apparently daddy is in a hurry to meet his little daughter you’re carrying. He’s on his way here.” The nurse gave her a warm smile, but Rey saw no comfort in the woman’s presence or words.

Ben followed Jessika.

She got them inside easily.

He prayed silently they weren’t too late.   
  


Finn smirked as he rounded the next corner, soon... soon Rey wouldn’t be his problem anymore. Then he’d cash in yet again... deal with the bastard she carried... then his parents. He sighed, he was probably going to have to close Jessika off for a while afterwards.

Her hesitation recently spokes volumes, and she needed reminding to who she owed everything to... who owned her.   
  


Jessika wouldn’t like his plans for the Pavas either...

Finn knew she’d adjust. She always cowered eventually.   
  


Rey felt some relief holding her daughter. Her soft tiny curls were exactly how she’d seen in her coma state dreams. Her eyes so wide and alert.

So perfect.  
  


She couldn’t hear what the doctor whispered to the nurse.   
  


She needed to leave.   
  


“mommy loves you Carlie Ann, no one will take you from me. I promise... the demon won’t hurt you.” Rey kissed Carlie’s tiny button nose.   
  


She had Ben’s hair... his pale skin... Rey’s eyes... her nose and his lips...  
  


So precious.

Ben would adore her wouldn’t he?

She sniffled. Knowing Finn probably wouldn’t let her keep Carlie. He had plans, none of this screamed safe. It screamed plot... Rey wasn’t meant to walk out of this place.

She fed Carlie, watchful of the door... they’d left her alone, but that didn’t mean someone wasn’t in the hall.

The nurse had helped her shower, put on a new gown and the padded underwear. She’d brushed and braided Rey’s hair while the doctor checked Carlie.

It was all too strange.  
  


The drugs helped with the pain, the labor had gone so quickly.   
  


Rey was a mother.   
  


She tucked her breast back into her gown, buttoned the front. Burped Carlie. Rey redid the swaddled child’s blanket. Holding her close, she promised her so many things.

“We have to go sweetie... daddy doesn’t know where we are, there are bad people here... I can feel it.” Rey clutched her close.   
  


She saw no shoes on the floor, no personal items, and worried about what weather might wait outside.

How could they even leave?

How far could she get after giving birth?

Maybe steal someone’s car?  
  


The nurse came back in, but Rey smashed her head in with a bedpan. She didn’t even feel guilty as the blood seeped out from the woman’s skull.

She peeled out carefully, no one was in the hall. She heard distant thunder... rain was coming. Fuck!

Rey hurt all over from moving so fast to strike the nurse. The badge she swiped would help her get farther, but she’d have to avoid any night staff unaware of her presence. She doubted it was common knowledge. She had to get somewhere before Finn arrived.   
  


Jessika held the gun with less sureness. It was in her purse, but she just wasn’t certain she could fire it. She still loved Finn despite all of it... but, she hated him more. Perhaps it wouldn’t be as hard as she thought.   
  


Ben at her heel.   
  


His knife hidden as well. He had no doubt he could kill in the moment. One fuck up and Finn was toast... but, he was positive Jessika would do it if Finn crosses her tonight. She made the choice to help Rey, to bring Ben. She’d already broken free from Finnegan Pava even if Jessika wasn’t quite honest with herself about that fact.

He knocked out the couple of men they came across. Stole a higher security badge from one. Luck was on their side it seemed.

Rey was in a secure area alone. The doctor didn’t share her purpose or presence with the other doctors on staff at the facility. Jessika had heard Finn’s plans. The doctor had a death wish of his own for what Ben learned from her.

”How could you lose her?! She was mostly sedated! She should be out cold after the birth!” Finn’s booming voice echoing from another office down the corridor.

”she attacked my nurse Mr. Pava, but she won’t get far... I assure you. I have two trusted men searching for her, I’ve locked down the facility quietly. No one will even realize what’s happened tonight. Normal staff aren’t returning until morning shift.” The scared man rambled in Finn’s direction.

”find her!” Finn yelled. “find that damn brat ! I need it for at least a while. Do whatever you want with the bitch, she’s caused me enough bullshit. I’ve already cashed in on her. I want to be headed to the country estate with my new fiancé by morning!”

Ben ground his teeth.

Furious.

That fucking prick!

He was not touching a single hair on that child’s head... or Rey’s!

Jessika looked pale hearing Finn’s words.  
  


Ben took her hand. “We’ll get to her first, at least we know she’s alive still... that the baby is ok. Rey must have gotten scared when she woke up, good for her. But, she’s probably weak... we can’t freeze here.Thank god she woke up at all...”

Jessika nodded. “You’re right... let’s go the other way. Maybe those guys you hit are the ones the doctor sent looking?”

“maybe...” Ben hoped so too.

Rey was silently so thankful Carlie stayed quiet as she crept down hallways and kept getting lost. She was getting frustrated at not finding the right doorway to get farther away. Anxiety high.  
  


A hand suddenly covered her mouth as she screamed into it.


	27. Silent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hand over her mouth hurt in its pressure, but Rey’s fear of the owner vastly outweighed that pain. She held her slumbering child close, praying it wasn’t Finn’s in that dark corridor. “Shhhh... Rey is’t me, it’s Ben.” His voice softly carressed her ear. “I am so relieved you are ok... awake... and the baby?” He released her slowly, and turned her to face him and Jessika.

Rey saw sincerity in his eyes, he was relieved... he was here for her, their child.

”I’m weak, but ok... she’s wonderful.” She pulled the blanket slightly away to show him her tiny face. “This is Carlie Ann...”  
  


“oh Rey, she’s so beautiful...” Ben was speechless as he took in the tiny girl. His lashes dampening as he realized how close he’d come to loosing them both, because of his stupid pride.

”they... they were going to take her from me, I know that doctor was going to hurt me... Finn, he made arrangements...” Rey began to cry.

”We know, Jessika sought me out to tell me. He’s been hurting her for a long time, but what he has done to you was what pushed her to the brink. I’m so sorry Rey... for everything.” Ben wanted to hold her so badly.

Rey nodded. She glanced toward Jessika. “You should’ve stopped him sooner Jess, he’s... he’s so evil, he doesn’t care about any of us.”

”He only cares about the money... he never loved me, he just wanted to control me.” Jessika moved forward and hugged Rey. “I’m so happy you woke up, I’ve been so scared and depressed. I’m so sorry.”  
  


Rey couldn’t help but see how broken the girl was. Finn was supposed to be Jessika’s adopted brother, but he’d become something cruel and sinister in her life. Then he’d taken over Rey’s life as well... polluted it... tainted every part. Making each of them cornered, alone, depending on him. “I forgive you... breathe, move forward, don’t let Finn control you anymore.”

Ben’s hand hovered slightly above Carlie. “Can I?”

Rey smiled. “Yes...”

She let him touch his daughter’s cheek, pet her tiny head. “Rey, ...she’s so beautiful.”

”We need to get out of here, how do we get out Ben?” Rey kissed Carlie’s forehead. “And don’t think you are completely forgiven yet...”

“I know...” Ben took her hand. “Come on, let’s try back this way, we stopped a couple guys that direction so hopefully it’s clear.”

”Jessika, did you warn your parents and the police?” Rey asked.

”I did when we got here, I didn’t want to spook Finn into disappearing. He can’t get away Rey, or no one is safe. He was going to have my parents die too... we get you out and the police will be outside waiting. We needed you, the proof. You and I both are the proof.” Jessika seemed less scared and more sure of herself.

”Finn was arguing with the doctor when I came across them. They should be headed to the floor you were at. He knows you’re loose.” Ben sighed.   
  


He guided Rey and Jessika.

They tried to be as quiet as possible.

Rey knew if she saw Finn, if he got in their way... she’d fucking kill him. She wouldn’t hesitate. She saw Ben’s knife, she hoped that meant his mindset was similar.  
  


Finn growled.

Another empty room, another empty fucking hallway!

Damn it!

Why the fuck had she even woke up after sleeping through most of her pregnancy in that coma?! The doctor could have just taken the baby out if she’d stayed unconscious, one less headache?!

Now he was trudging around in the middle of the fucking night looking for her!   
  


Jessika wasn’t answering her damn phone!

He wasn’t pleased.

He was fuming.

He glared at yet another empty hallway. Where the fuck was she?! She shouldn’t even be able to walk well enough to get this far?!

Finn gripped his gun at his side.   
  


  
  


Ben saw a figure.

He recognized the doctor’s voice. The man sounded annoyed and slightly frantic, the men had been discovered. Another man stood beside the doctor.

”someone is here! That woman did not knock out two fully grown men! Mr.Pava will not be pleased... not at all. Joshua, we have to find her and the child, find whoever snuck in before the lock down. They could have stolen a security badge... they could get out!” The doctor gulped. “He’ll kill me if that happens...”

Ben motioned for Jessika and Rey to sink lower to the wall and stay put.   
  


He crept closer.

Before anyone registered his presence, his knife had dispatched the doctor and Joshua.   
  


“they’re down, it’s safe...” Ben called out.

When they didn’t appear, Ben returned to where he’d left them hiding. The image that greeted him made his stomach turn.

”Finnegan...” Ben gritted out.

Finn grinned like the devil. “Ah, Ben... I wasn’t aware Jessika would be joining me tonight, or bringing a plus one! She was definitely not supposed to escort Reyanne anywhere...”

Finn kissed Rey’s cheek. His gun pointed at them both.   
  


“your daughter really is quite cute isn’t she?” Finn poked.

Ben knew he was trying to goad him... 

“she is, why don’t you just let them go... my family will pay whatever you want for them to be released unharmed, you know what I have access to. It would be more that what you’re chasing.” Ben offered.   
  


Finn smirked, let out a dark laugh. “I am sure. But why would I give up any of it? Why give up one cent? And not also cash in your offer too? Why are you even here Solo... she hates you after what you did?! You used her, threw her away, gave her back to me when she was obviously running away...?”

”I blamed her for your fucking lies Pava! You tricked me! You made me hurt her! Wasn’t it bad enough that you isolated her, abused her, used her yourself?!” Ben accused, his anger thick.

Finn only seemed amused. “Yes yes, pot or kettle?” He fisted Rey’s hair painfully making her wince.

Jessika slowly slid her fingers around the small firearm in her purse. Finn was distracted by Ben... she could maybe... she had to!

”I can easily blackmail your parents when your corpse is cold in the ground Solo, they may want the brat. Though, my buyer might be annoyed. You’ve ruined Rey’s usefulness for the good doctor, so she’s not really needed now...” Finn cocked the gun aiming at her head. “Rey gone... cash in, you gone... problem solved and cash in possibly from your parents if I choose to ...take my dear Jess away and remind her who she loves... take care of mommy and daddy... cash flows... I win all the way around! You being here gives me the killer for all these bodies too, nice little gift you handed me. I can play the distraught fiancé well after all. Take my new daughter out of here...” Finn nuzzled Rey’s neck.  
  


“please Finn, please let me and Carlie go... let Jess go...” Rey begged him weakly. She kept her eyes on Ben’s.

”sorry sweetheart, I just don’t have that option. You alive was never endgame.” Finn chuckled as Rey’s eyes streamed.

His cockiness didn’t last long however, a shot rang out. Echoing throughout the shadows circling them.

Finn’s expression confused as his gaze shifted from Ben to Jessika.

Red blooming across his chest.

Ben’s gun wasn’t raised.

Jessika’s was. “Jess...?” Finn breathed in disbelief.

She glared at him, pulling the trigger again. “You thought you had us both just standing here in fear? You weren’t even paying attention to me right beside Rey in front of you. You were so sure I’d never fight back you absolute prick! Well, surprise motherfucker! You suck! Leave them and me alone!” And she grabbed Rey from his grip, pushing her toward Ben.

The look on Finn’s face was priceless.

Shock written all over it.

Jessika felt strong for the first time in years.

Finn snarled and tried to lunge at her, blood leaking from his mouth, “you fucking cunt!”

Missing, he hit the ground hard on his knees. She could see how woozy he was getting as he kept losing more blood.

Rey watched wide eyed.

She didn’t feel anything.

Shouldn’t she feel something?

Ben was glad.

Seeing Finnegan Pava low felt like justice. Satisfying... 

Rey looked to Ben, “do you want to hold Carlie?”

He was shaken from his mental celebrations. “Oh! Yes ...yes, definitely, please!”

Rey took his knife from him, giving him her daughter... their daughter.

Finn sputtered once more and collapsed. His chest still. Red spread out from where he landed.  
  


Rey wanted to plunge it deep into that creature. But, it was unnecessary now... Finn was dead. He couldn’t hurt them anymore. Jessika was a murderer, but no one blamed her. “It was self defense, we are witnesses. He would have killed me... Ben... you, if you fought him.”

”I know... I don’t feel bad about it, I hate it took me so long.” Jessika stated.

The police came in when Ben gave them the signal. Medics saw to each of them. Rey refused to let Carlie out of her sight.   
  


Ben understood.   
  


Jessika cried into her father’s chest, both her parents held her for the first time in a long time with genuine concern. They couldn’t believe what Finn had done... what he had planned to do. It broke their hearts. They felt horribly for not seeing how damaged their daughter was, how their adopted son had been abusing her.

Rey hoped Jessika would be alright. But, her priorities revolved around her baby. She also had decisions to make... 

6 months later.

Ben sighed. He held the tiny photo Rey had gifted him. It had been a kind gesture certainly. Carlie Ann Solo, looked so much like them both. His mother adored the child, PaPa Han was a sucker wrapped around those tiny fingers already.

Rey had avoided him however.   
  


He had fully expected that.

But, he could see Carlie. She sent breast milk with Carlie that she pumped. He got to keep her overnight after she was 6 weeks old, before that it was short visits when his parents saw her too. 

He was grateful.

Parents could raise a healthy, happy child separately... it was done every day. 

Not that he wanted her so far away... no, Ben desperately wished Rey would talk to him. 

See him.

Let him in. 

She said she forgave Jessika... she even told him before she left he was forgiven... but his actions wouldn’t, couldn’t be forgotten. He had helped save her and their baby, that earned something... but how could she ever trust him?

He got it...

But...

It still sucked.

It still left him feeling empty.

He loved her. He did.

He’d been so fucking idiotic.

Ben rubbed his chin, ran a hand through disheveled hair. He looked rather like shit. He knew that too.

The press had been hounding them all.   
  


Finn’s actions were juicy news. Someone wanted to do a TV movie... Jessika and Rey had been approached. Not that it mattered. They could do a loosely based one without permission.

Ben was grateful for each moment with his daughter. He saw Rey in her though, he saw his bad choices that hurt Rey. 

Hurt himself...

Could she forget enough to face him?

Could they raise Carlie together?

1 year later

Rey pulled up to his house.

Inhaled deeply trying to calm her nerves.

Ben had cooperated fully to her parenting plan. Carlie visited him every weekend unless Rey had plans for her. Leia and Han loved having their grandchild over when Ben worked out of town or Rey needed help.   
  


Rey enjoyed staying out of the limelight.   
  


She wanted privacy for her child. She built herself a new solid life of her own.

She heard from Jessika occasionally, she was happy for her. Jessika was doing well in a London with new friends and trying to find herself now that she could. 

Rey and Jessika both had needed plenty of therapy. 

Rey walked up the winding sidewalk to his front door, she grinned as she noticed the play set he’d set up in the yard. It seemed like he was always adding new things for Carlie.   
  


She chuckled, he loved spoiling her.

Carlie’s first birthday was split. Rey had done her own celebration on her own with who she wanted. Very small, just her close friend from work Julie. Ben and his parents had gone bigger of course... pony rides, the whole she-bang. 

It was... sweet.

If a bit excessive.

”Rey! Hi, she’s still napping you’re a bit early. I thought you weren’t coming to pick her up until closer to 5?” Ben questioned.

”sorry, got done at the center sooner than I thought.” Rey stepped inside, headed to his living room. “Can we talk?”

Ben nodded.   
  


He followed dutifully.

They took a seat on his couch. “Is everything ok Rey?”

She took his hand in hers, her other palm gently touched his cheek. “You are doing a great job as a daddy Ben... I’m very thankful you’ve given me time and space to figure things out. To see what I want. She’s such a beautiful, happy little girl... who wants for nothing.   
  


Ben couldn’t help leaning into her warm, soft palm.

“I cared for you Ben... I care for you.” She added.

He swallowed nervously. He didn’t want to assume... “I care for you too Rey, I’m so sorry.”

”I know... I believe you.” Rey mentally leaped.

She leaned forward before she could second guess herself, her lips massaging his ever so gently. But it was enough to set fire to them both... the anxiety vanishing... the fear absent.

Hope and joy filled her heart as he deepened the kiss, breathing her in.  
  


She wasn’t angry at him anymore, life was too short for that.   
  


Ben just lost his way... because of what Finn had done. Finn had made her lose so much of herself too. She had been scarred by all that happened, but forgiveness led her to watch his actions more and more. She watched, she listened. She kept her distance, but slowly let him in again. Ben wasn’t like Finn... not at his core. Humans aren’t perfect. Trust took time to rebuild...  
  


It wouldn’t go fast, but she just knew he wouldn’t push.   
  


She let her fingers slip down from his cheek to his neck, he groaned. Ben hadn’t pursued anyone since they crossed paths, he just couldn’t make himself want to. 

Rey had tried a few online dates just to see if she had it in her, being closed off by Finn for so long had left her with little confidence. She needed to try.   
  


See herself as someone worth wanting.

As beautiful.

As precious.

Ben pulled away, admiring. “We don’t have to decide anything tonight Rey... Carlie is loved, she’s good. If you want to explore whether this is something you want, that would make me so fucking happy, but... I need you to be sure. No rush.”

Rey smiled. “ok.”

”ok.” He replied. “Dinner? I made chicken, macaroni, and her favorite green beans with little carrot slices? We have the cutest curly haired one and a half year old ever who will be quite hungry when she wakes up shortly... and that typically equals hangry.”

Rey grinned, and nodded. “Dinner... yep, sounds like a good start.”

Nothing worth having comes easy.

Love is worth waiting for.


End file.
